chair. “Wow. That’s a lot.”
“Yeah, I get that. It’s a lot for me to wrap my mind around, too, but fuck it. It is what it is.”
“Obsessive?”
“I don’t care what you call it, though you should know I’ve never been the obsessive type. Hell, that crazy shit usually happens to me, not the other way around. That’s why I wasn’t completely honest with you back in California—I totally get how fucking whacked out I sound right now. But we wouldn’t be where we are now if I’d just straight-up copped to being out of my goddamn mind over you, so I’m done with fronting. You need to know what my truth is when it comes to you.”
Seriously, if she didn’t sit down soon, she was going to fall down. “What is your truth?”
“I’ve been crazy about you from the moment I came up the stairs and saw you standing there, a golden goddess among mere mortals,” he said, scowling at her like she was somehow at fault for where he was now. “One look, and I knew you were mine. No, it was more than that—I didn’t just know you were mine. I felt it, in every cell of my body and every corner of my soul. From the time I knew how to dream, you were the one I dreamed about. And then suddenly, there you were. My dream woman.”
No power on earth could have stopped her from pressing a hand to her wildly thundering heart. “Oh, Gus.”
“I could barely believe you were real,” he went on, still grim-faced, still looking at her like he blamed her for his temporary madness. “Even when we danced for the first time and I held you in my arms, I couldn’t fucking believe you actually existed. I kept telling myself you couldn’t be as perfect as you were, and that love at first sight was just a damn fairy tale for moony-eyed suckers. But I was wrong. Honest to God, I can’t believe I’m saying this, much less feeling it, but… I’m in love with you, Joelle Fielding.”
There went her knees. Thank heaven she was near the couch where Alice had sat only minutes earlier, or she would have sprawled all over the carpet.
“I don’t expect you to feel the same way about me anytime soon, so don’t get in a twist about that,” he said quickly, stepping forward in apparent alarm at her sudden collapse. But he didn’t come any closer, as if he weren’t sure how to bridge the space that yawned between them. “I know springing this on you when we’ve only known each other a handful of days is messed up. And let’s face it—I seriously stepped in it yesterday by trying to downplay the importance of your job in the hope I could talk you into staying focused on me. Jesus, talk about shooting myself in the goddamn foot. You should know upfront that I don’t expect anything from you after I screwed up yesterday, all right? I’m just here to negotiate another chance with you, and I’m not leaving until you say yes on that.”
“Negotiate another chance,” she repeated, putting a hand to her temple in the hope of getting her brain back in gear. Sadly, it didn’t work. “What does that mean? Do you want like a do-over? Start over from square one?”
His chest heaved with a short—and probably impatient—breath. “If that’s what it takes to get back in your good graces, then yeah. Whatever you want.”
Whatever you want.
She knew what she wanted.
She’d known from the moment he’d told her that he’d been looking everywhere for her.
But that didn’t mean she was ready to forgive him just yet.
“I’ve got a list of wants, now that you mention it,” she said, trying to organize her thoughts. “First and foremost, if you ever patronize me or what I’ve chosen as my career, I’m gone. It’s an important part of my life, so if you call it unimportant, you’re calling me unimportant. I deserve far better than that, and I think we can agree that no one needs that kind of grief.”
He shook his head. “Damn my stupid ass for ever making you feel like you have to even state that out loud. That was such an asshole move on my part.”
Good. He understood. “So, does that mean you understand what I’m saying?”
“That’s exactly what it means, and you have my word that it’ll never happen again, because I can’t stand the shame of knowing I hurt you.