His Irresistible Darling - Sarah Randall Page 0,95

added “—she wants him to set up a proper teddy bears’ tea party.”

“Jumal—” she started, pitying him for sure. But he needed her to hear everything before she dismissed him.

“No wait,” he begged placing his hand over hers. “J-just let me get this out.” She nodded for him to continue and pulled her hand back to her lap, her eyes following, cast down towards the water. “Being with you over those last few months has shown me just how much I don’t know about life and living, how boring and dull and limited my entire existence was. I should have said things to you much earlier and I am so ashamed of my weakness. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, if you’ll let me.”

He risked looking over at her but her eyes were still cast downward. “You’ve made me feel things and question everything I stood for and I was angry at what I discovered, never at you,” he assured her, “just me. I didn’t want to admit to a lot of things. I guess I preferred to stay ignorant until you slapped me about the head, both literally and figuratively speaking,” he added, with a short laugh, “and made me finally wake up and face the boring, mundane reality of my existence. Because it wasn’t a life, Pippa. My life only started when you fell into it, grabbed it by the neck and blew away the cobwebs, teasing me senseless in the process. You remember that day on the helicopter?” He turned to look at her. “Pippa?”

He watched her slowly nod in confirmation. He shook his head and took a deep breath as he recalled her words months ago as she’d overcome her fear and looked out of the helicopter window.

Feeling brave? he’d teased and then, after a long pause during which he’d thought she was either ignoring him or thinking of a witty retort she’d floored him with her response.

Only with you.

“That was the day for me. The day I fell hook, line and sinker for you. Before then, of course I wanted you, as every single male would. I’d never been able to deny that, although admittedly I tried for a while, but from that day, my priorities shifted and you became everything to me. When you told me that you only felt brave with me—” he paused and shook his head gently. “Please give me that chance again. Be brave again, Pippa. Please, just say yes. You are everything I want. Don’t make me go on without you,” he begged, finally reaching for her hand and praying that she didn’t drag it away. “Please believe that you are it for me.”

Pippa finally looked over at him, but he couldn’t tell what the hell she was thinking behind her dark sunglasses. Did she think he was a complete lunatic? Had she already met someone else and was just sitting there deciding the best way to break his heart and punish him?

“You finished?” she asked, getting straight to the point as ever, pushing her glasses to the top of her head.

He couldn’t think. He certainly hadn’t anticipated her curt response to his completely honest, heartfelt declarations, which bore no resemblance to the articulate speech he’d practised on his jet. Did she want him to leave now?

“Er, yes,” he fumbled, cursing inwardly. Did she want more from him? What else could he have said to convince her to let him back in her life? Maybe he should’ve been on his knees. He would gladly do it. Was she just going to dismiss him and tell him to leave her the hell alone without giving him the chance to redeem himself? He knew he deserved her punishment and he cursed silently again. Could he even leave her? Make his body get up from this pier, surrounded once again by her enchanting scent, and leave her sitting with her legs dangling in the cool waters, get back on the horse he’d borrowed from Matt and leave her, for ever?

He clenched a fist, hating the uncontrollable fear and panic swelling throughout his body. He wasn’t even sure he could move at this moment in time. Maybe she’d be the one to leave and he’d just stay here as darkness descended and Matt eventually turned up looking for his lost horse. In any other circumstances, he’d have to laugh at the situation. He’d wanted to feel again. Well guess what? He was feeling scared.