see us. I don’t have much self-control, but I don’t want my first time to be so… exposed.
Or do I? Because the longer he touches me, the quieter the voice of reason is in my head.
When Erik finally pulls away, we are both struggling for breath. He looks deep into my eyes, passion and anger and frustration all playing across his face.
And I understand him perfectly, for once in my life.
He gives his head the tiniest shake. When he speaks, his voice is gone to gravel.
“Annika… we can’t,” he says. He doesn’t move away, but I can feel him begin to withdraw. “We just can’t. We shouldn’t have ever even touched.”
I bite my lower lip, dropping my gaze from his. “I know.”
He raises my head with a finger underneath my chin. “It’s my fault. Okay? It’s… god, it’s not fucking you. You’re perfect.”
And just like that, my eyes fill with tears. I pull out of his grasp, standing up suddenly. “I think we should go back. Don’t you think?”
Erik blows out a breath. “Sure, Nika.”
I jump down off the jungle gym, running to scoop up my heels from where they lie in the sand. Then I take off at jog, heading back to the school.
Tears prick my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.
“Annika!” Erik calls.
I wave behind me, not interested in whatever he has to say. After all, he’s already said everything I’m meant to hear.
“See you at the school!” I call out, picking up my pace.
And gentleman that he is, Erik lets me go.
15
Erik
Striding into Nika’s living room, I find her curled up on the couch in high-waisted jeans and a white crop top. When I enter, she looks up, flushing when she sees me. Her eyes are the same fiery color that goes right through me.
This is the third day since I kissed her on the playground. And it’s the third day that she’s been avoiding me.
But no more.
“Come on,” I say. “Grab some riding boots and meet me in the stables in five minutes.”
Her brow rises delicately. “Why?”
I cross my arms, favoring her with a serious look. “Because we still have to work together for another two and a half months. So, this thing where we don’t talk? It won’t work.” I give her a sharp stare. “Five minutes. Hurry up.”
I turn, leaving her rooms. I just have to hope that she actually follows me. Heading down to the stables is a short enough walk through the bright mid-morning sun.
It’s just starting to get hot. I eye the verdant landscape as I trot toward the stables. All I can see is the fresh green pasture lands and the soaring blue sky overhead. There is nothing for several miles here. It’s just untamed wilderness owned by the royal family.
I straighten the cuff of my hooded sweatshirt. It feels odd to be dressed down in a black hoodie and dark gray sweatpants. It’s as if I’m going to work out, but I don’t own any clothes just for this purpose.
Why would I?
I stalk into the stables, smelling the unique mix of clean horses, sweet horse feed, and the tang of horse shit. It smells incredibly nostalgic to me, harkening back to my earliest days.
Spotting a groom, I order two horses to be saddled. I know my father has the day off. I made sure of that before I hatched this plan.
It’s unlikely that I’ll see him. He’s surely already drunk.
But there is still a vague unease in the pit of my stomach. It stays with me as I watch the groom saddle a black gelding for me and a smaller dappled gray mare for Annika.
When Nika actually shows up, looking uncertain about why she is here, that feeling grows even stronger. The groom leads our horses outside, holding them as we mount up.
“You know how to ride, right?” I ask, getting settled in the saddle.
Her gaze narrows on me as she adjusts her seat, petting her mount’s neck. “Yes. I’m surprised that you do.”
I take my reins from the groom, thanking him. “It’s been a while since I’ve had to ride,” I admit. “But I grew up in these stables. My father used to be in charge around here.”
She looks down at her horse, nudging her into a slow walk. “I think I knew that. Your father is not here now though, is he?”
I squint against the sunlight. “No. He still works here though. I think he’s off today.”
I use my heels to urge my horse forward,