down my cheeks.
Thankfully, the girls are too lost in their chatting to notice my physical response to Levi’s message, and I’m grateful for a minute to myself where I can gather my thoughts. I want to yell at him. To tell him that if I am so perfect the way I am, then he should’ve noticed me by now. He should’ve kissed me for real instead of hiding behind the guise of simply helping me out. Like the kiss was for my benefit, and he was just being selfless. I don’t want him to be selfless. I want him to want to kiss me. To need it more than his next breath. I want him to go crazy with lust when he looks at me instead of only seeing the little girl he played video games with while growing up.
I want to drive him crazy. I want to consume his thoughts the same way he’s consumed mine for years.
Speechless, and not in the mood to argue with him, I ignore his message altogether and set my phone aside.
“What’s wrong?” Indie murmurs beside me when she senses my morose mood.
“He told me not to change. That I’m perfect the way I am.” I laugh, dryly.
“You are perfect the way you are. But it’s also okay to step out of your comfort zone. Before I met Rhett, I was with a guy named Anthony. We’d been together for thirteen years, and I was miserable; I just didn’t know it. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. I was so comfortable being miserable that I didn’t even recognize how unhappy I was. That’s when Rhett came into the picture, and I saw the potential of something new if I just grabbed on to it. And you, right now, are grabbing on to that potential. Whether it’s with Conner or Levi or neither of them. You’re addressing your needs, and you’re going after what you want. And I’m so proud of you for it.”
Finally, one of those damn tears I’ve tried so hard to hold in escapes the corner of my eye.
Wiping it away hastily, I give Indie a watery smile. “Thanks.”
“Anytime, Charlie Brown.” She winks, and I laugh at her use of the insane nickname, shocked that I’m not offended that it’s referencing a boy cartoon character.
Yup. Change can be a good thing even if it’s scary as hell.
“So, when is your date with Conner?” she asks, changing the subject.
“Tomorrow night.”
“And what are you guys doing?”
“We’re going to a place called…Texas Roundup or something?” I shrug. “Apparently, it serves cowboy sushi, which is made out of steak and chicken instead of fish.”
“Ooo, that sounds yummy.”
“I hope so! After that, we’re going to just watch a movie at his place.”
“And does Levi know you’ll be at his apartment?” she questions.
I shake my head. “Nope. I have no idea if he’ll be there, either. But I told Conner I wanted something relatively low-key, and that’s what he suggested.”
Suzette gives her opinion on the matter. “Sounds like the perfect opportunity to get to know Conner as well as seeing Levi’s reaction to you dating someone else.”
“Yup. Couldn’t have planned it better myself,” Sophie agrees.
“Now, we just have to wait and see how it all plays out,” Indie adds.
“Yup,” I repeat, anxiety practically eating me alive as I squirm in the hairdresser’s chair. “We’ll just have to wait and see.”
Chapter Eighteen
Charlie
My pulse spikes when a knock echoes through my little apartment. Rubbing my sweaty hands along my black leather skirt, I grab my matching black clutch that Sophie convinced me to buy then open the front door.
“Umm…hi,” I greet Conner.
Scanning me from head to toe, his eyes widen. “Uh…hey.”
“Hi,” I repeat as I shift awkwardly under his intense stare. That’s when it hits me. I finally understand the term fish out of water.
“You look….” He clears his throat then finally makes eye contact with me. “You look hot.”
With a light laugh that feels a little forced, I step into the hallway and lock the door behind me.
Tucking my keys into my clutch, I look up and wait for him to lead the way. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah. Let me just look at you for one more second.” His long legs take a step back and away from me before he does another perusal, though the attention makes me clam up.
“Uh…shouldn’t we get going?” I mutter after another few long seconds.
Sensing my unease, he offers his arm to me. When I take it, I notice his knowing smirk.