medical professional I’ve ever gone to has ever asked me what they could do for me. Instead, I was always ushered from their offices quickly with a prescription, which of course, only made my need worse.
“I…” I’ve never admitted it out loud. All these years, I have never once uttered the words. “I’m…” Shaking my head, I blink, and the tears I’d been holding onto fall, trickling down my cheeks. I glance at Finn, and he offers me a reassuring nod before I look at Doctor Ulrich and admit, “I have an addiction. Forced on drugs I didn’t want, but I crave them now.”
The older man stares at me for a short while before he slowly nods. “Thank you for your honesty,” he says. “That’s the first step. I won’t lie to you and tell you this journey will be easy. It won’t. But admitting it is most definitely the right way to go.”
I nod. My fingers gripping Finn’s so hard, I’m sure I’m stopping his blood flow. “I need help. It’s taken me a long time to admit it. Even though I’m not alone in this, I feel like I need to say it out loud before I can start to heal.”
“You’re a strong woman to admit you have a problem. Most who come to me struggle with that, but you seem to have come to terms with the fact that you have a problem.”
He’s right. It’s the first small step. “Will you be able to help me or offer me some advice on where to go to do it?”
“Actually, Thorne Haven has a facility not far from the university,” the doctor offers. “If you’d like to go there, I can definitely help you. You have a wonderful support system,” he says, glancing at Finn, and I’m sure if Cass were here, he would most certainly be all for it. He’s always wanted me healthy.
Even though I’m doing this for myself, I’m partly doing it for him as well. I want him to see me in a different light. One he’s never seen me in. Cassian has been the hero all through our friendship, the white knight trying to save me from myself. I want him to finally see the strong woman who no longer needs a high to get through difficult times but can deal with challenges with a clear mind and a strong conviction.
It’s not going to be easy, but I want this, not only to have him be proud of me but for me to be proud of myself too.
I make my decision and smile at the doctor. “I’d like that very much.”
34
Cassian
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” I croak, rolling over to find softness beside me. Snapping my eyes open, I look into a pretty yet worried gaze that stops my heart for a split second. “What the fuck happened?”
“Paulo and Manny’s men injected you with something,” she tells me, her hand reaching for my face, gently cupping me as if I were fragile. “Finn and Damien got the doctor here to check on you. He said you were to rest. So, you have to stay in bed for a while. Your system needs to rid itself of the toxins.”
“My fucking head is throbbing,” I tell her.
“The doc said you can have a painkiller if you need it,” my girl tells me. Kalyn moves to grab a glass of water with two aspirin and hands them to me. Gratefully, I swallow them down quickly while praying they take effect very fucking soon because this is not my idea of fun.
“I’ve spent my life hiding from this shit,” I bite out before realizing what I’ve just said. “I didn’t mean—”
Kalyn nods, then drops her gaze to the bed, focusing on the sheet instead of me. In a soft tone, she admits, “I know. I’m sorry. This is all my fault. If I never came back to Thorne Haven, you wouldn’t be dealing with this.”
“Don’t you dare fucking apologize,” I grit, pulling Kalyn until she’s nestled in my hold. Her body is so tiny as she curls up on the mattress, her hands tangling in my shirt.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she whispers, taking my hand in hers. “While you were out, I woke up; I was struggling.”
My brows furrow in confusion. “Struggling?”
“The withdrawals hit me quite hard. Finn took me to see Doctor Ulrich, and he is going to help me. I’m going to go to a facility in town.” Her words are merely a whisper, but