his brother, knowing full well that his brother had no real interest in marrying you.”
She shrugged, feigning nonchalance even though her heart was pounding. “What is your point?”
“What is my point?” Lily said it with such force that Abigail jerked back in the face of it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What difference would it have made?” Abigail said.
Lily arched her brows in clear disbelief. “Well, I wouldn't have thought you'd callously rejected Merrick for a better title, for a start. I wouldn’t have thought you’d tried to take him from me in the first place.”
Abigail just barely held back a sigh. This was precisely why she hadn’t told her. She’d known her former friend would have made too much of it. “It wasn't as though that was my only crime against you, Lily.”
Lily frowned. “Perhaps not, but you had to know that you were risking your own future, your own prospects, by rejecting a perfectly wonderful suitor like Merrick for a known rake like Simon.”
Abigail met her friend’s gaze evenly. She had far too many current heartaches to be too overwrought by her past. Any other time she might have been able to muster a smirk or a witticism that deflected this emotional scene. But right now it was all she could do to keep her focus on Lily and not on the man she’d just walked away from in the library.
She gave a frustrated shake of her head as Lily stared at her, waiting for more of a response. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Lily.”
In true Lily fashion, she fisted her hands at her sides and let out a soft growl. “I want you to tell me why you didn’t explain. Why you didn’t talk to me about this. You risked your mother’s wrath, you no doubt disappointed your father, and you put your own selfish wants aside. For me.” Lily jabbed a finger into her own chest. “For Merrick. I want to know why you kept that a secret.”
And here it was. Abigail supposed it was only right that her past came back to haunt her today, of all days. Now, of all times. As if discovering she was in love and then experiencing her first heartbreak was not enough for one day.
Perhaps this was her punishment. Or maybe her penance.
“I treated you abominably that first season, Lily, and we both know it. Don't try to rewrite history just because one of my bad deeds wasn't quite as bad as you'd thought.”
Part of her itched to explain. To justify. To try and make her understand just how much pressure she’d been under that first season to outshine all others. How she’d stupidly thought that if she dimmed the lights on all the other girls making their debut, her own light would shine brighter.
Foolishness, of course. She’d learned her lesson since then.
But much as her pride wanted to explain, she knew very well it would sound like excuses. And the time had come to own her mistakes.
After all, that was what Alex would do.
Lily regarded her evenly. “Trust me, Abigail, I have no desire to rewrite history. But if falling in love with Merrick has taught me anything, it’s that our history isn’t all that matters, either. It doesn't have to define you.”
Abigail’s eyes widened in surprise.
“I kept secrets from Merrick, from you...from everyone because of my own pride,” she continued. “It's not exactly difficult for me to understand how you might have acted badly for the same reason.”
Abigail opened her mouth to protest that this was different, but Lily beat her to it. “I'm not saying I condone your past bad behavior. You made cutting remarks about me and my friends well after that first season. You had opportunities to change and you did not.”
Lily’s words landed like a blow, but Abigail kept her mouth shut her chin high. The truth was no more than she deserved.
“But,” Lily said with a noticeable softening in her tone, “I do believe that perhaps you're trying to change now. Or that maybe...you want to.”
Lily’s even stare held a challenge.
Abigail’s pride begged her to scoff and sniff, to laugh in Lily’s face. But the part of her that Alex saw, the part of her that wished desperately to be worthy of the way he looked at her... "I do."
Lily let out a loud exhale, her lips curving up slightly in a faint smile. “Then perhaps it's time you forgive yourself and move on.”
Silence fell as Lily’s words reverberated