all of that without ever seeing them angry and making them that way myself. How will I truly know that they’re not going to suddenly slap me across the room if I don’t push the control you say they have?” She tilted her head and looked over at Avan. He didn’t understand how bad it had been and how hard it was for her to give her trust to someone. She needed proof, not just assurances. “And I’d rather find out what they’ll do in public where I have a real chance of getting some help if I need it.”
Avan sighed. “You won’t need it, but I’ll let you do it your way.”
“Thank you.” She kept her lips in straight line and didn’t comment on his letting her do it her way.
“Hey, if you’d rather feel the sharp edge of their tongue and see just how they react when you test them instead of letting me take the pressure off you, that’s your choice, although it’s not the smartest thing you’ve done.” Avan shrugged. “Let’s get back so we can get this over with.”
She laughed softly. “You’re acting as if it’s you who’s going to be in trouble.”
“I just think you should move more cautiously. You’re only now getting to a point where you’re not cringing every time they come near you. I know they won’t hit you as you fear, but they could get too close to you and scare you with their intensity.” Avan didn’t look back at her as they approached the square.
She wanted to protest the cringing every time Colm and Linc came near her, but she couldn’t do that honestly. She was honest enough to admit that she’d cringed a few times when any man drew close. Maybe he was exaggerating a little, but she knew she was wary around them especially. She hadn’t realized that it had been so obvious to everyone else. She was tempted to ask Avan if he’d seen it because he knew her, but right now, that wasn’t important.
“This is something I have to know before I find myself trapped within the walls of their Thent. People say so many things. Some are lies, but it’s how they behave when stressed that reveals the proof. I need to know that I’ll be safe with them until we catch Laed and Kynar.” She kept her voice low. She didn’t want anyone close to them to overhear her reasons. It was bad enough admitting to the fear, having everyone know the details would be even worse.
“You already know it, Cami. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. You wouldn’t have even tried to find them if part of you wasn’t absolutely sure that you could trust them with your life.” Avan shook his head, but kept his voice as low as she had.
She shrugged. Even if that were true, there was part of her that didn’t know it. The doubts floated around in her head and she couldn’t get them to stop. How was she supposed to know who could be trusted?
Cami didn’t have time to think of a reply. They walked into the square and Cami felt her breath lock in her throat at what she saw across the market. It wasn’t the Ardin. She hadn’t spotted them yet. It was a man in a long white and black robe.
She hadn’t seen one of them for years, but fear surged through her. That robe had haunted her nightmares after her brief brush with one of the monks. He’d only grabbed her arm. No lasting damage. Even now she could hear her mother’s voice telling her what would happen if they ever succeeded in taking her.
She hoped they didn’t have a monastery on this planet. After the initial surge of fear faded, she realized they couldn’t be after her, but they were talking to an older woman as well as the young woman she’d seen hug Anton earlier. That concerned her.
“Cami, there you are. Where were you?” Colm strode across the square and met them as they entered it.
“I went for a walk. I was restless.” She shrugged as if it should have been fairly obvious. It was her first tactic in dealing with them. If feigning confident unconcern didn’t work, she’d try something else.
“You were told to stay in the square. Was something about that unclear?” Linc’s brows drew down over his green eyes.
She drew in slow breath before answering. “No, I understood that you wanted me here. I wanted to