Here the Whole Time - Vitor Martins Page 0,48

to like who you are a little better, and that’ll be reflected in what other people see when they look at you. There will always be assholes, but we learn to fight back. That’s the most important thing—to not put your head down, to fight for the right to marry who you love, for the right to have your body respected regardless of what it looks like or what you’re wearing. To fight for the right to walk down the street without being attacked for the color of your skin.”

Caio, Melissa, and I listen attentively to Rebeca’s speech. I’m afraid I’ll blink and miss an important part. When Becky is done talking, we all sit in silence. Nobody knows what to say. I feel like clapping, but I’m not sure that would be appropriate.

“Booze always inspires me,” Becky says finally.

And we all start laughing and talking at the same time. But Becky gives me a side hug and whispers in my ear, “You knocked it out of the park, Fe!”

And if I’d known that telling Bruno and Jorge to go fuck themselves would make me feel this good, I’d have done it ages ago.

It’s past midnight when the party ends. Little by little, the food booths close down (and yes, I did get my corn on the cob in time), the band stops playing, and the square empties out.

“Will you still be around town tomorrow, Mel?” Caio asks when the four of us are making our way back home.

“Yeah, until late afternoon, more or less,” she answers while smelling the tips of her hair. From her expression, they probably smell like barbecue smoke.

“Look, Caio,” Becky interjects. “I know you love me, but tomorrow it’s just me and her,” she says with a wink.

Caio pretends to be offended and puts his arm around my shoulder.

“We don’t care, do we, Lipé? Tomorrow it’s also just me and him,” he says, and from the sound of his voice, he’s a little drunk.

I am, too, but that doesn’t stop me from breaking into a cold sweat because Caio is practically hugging me. To my disappointment, the moment only lasts three seconds. Caio lets go of me, almost tripping in the process, and then jumps on Becky to say goodbye.

“Don’t you dare go forgetting I exist, you hear me?” he says, his face shoved against his friend’s neck.

“I never do,” Becky responds.

We say goodbye to the girls and make our way home. I’m surprised when Caio puts his arm around my shoulders. I’m a few inches taller, so he has to walk on the tips of his toes.

All of a sudden, I feel brave again. I can feel the adrenaline running through my body from the top down. I take a deep breath, raise my arm, and let it fall around Caio’s shoulders, too. We’re hugging each other now.

We need to stop walking because, for a moment there, we’re a tangle of arms, and even walking is challenging in this position. But he won’t remove his arm, and I won’t, either.

Caio looks me directly in the eye and stomps his right foot on the ground, and I immediately understand what he wants to do. We go the rest of the way in coordinated steps.

Left.

Right.

Left.

Right.

When we get home, I do my best to heed my mother’s orders. I try to open the front door quietly and, as expected, fail. Caio whispers something I don’t understand, and I burst into quiet laughter for no reason.

After a few frustrated attempts at getting the key into the right hole, I manage to lock the door and head to the bedroom while holding Caio straight, since he’s trying to bump into every wall in the house. I throw myself on the bed, and Caio stands in the doorframe.

“I need water,” he says in a low voice.

And before I can say anything, he starts ambling down the hall. When my head touches the pillow, the world begins to sway. I try to find the lonely star on the ceiling, but the booze multiplies it into multiples. An entire constellation in my own room.

“I brought you some,” Caio says, coming in and closing the door behind him. He seems a little more sober, but when he takes a step forward to hand me the glass, he trips on a shoe that is lying on the floor, falls on his knees on his mattress, and spills the entire glass of water all over it.

The mattress softens the landing, which is great because the