Not really, just avoiding you, because when I see you I want to jump you.
“Yeah, it’s been intense. We’ve hired more therapists and ramped up the support groups for parents.”
“That’s great, Julia.”
He clearly had called to say something, but was having a hard time getting it out. Sweet Baby Jesus, please let this not be a call to tell me I made him feel weird with the almost kiss and light sniffing.
“I was thinking of grilling at my place this weekend, and was wondering if you’d like to come.”
Say no, Julia. Say no, no, no. No.
“You have a grill?”
That’s not no!
He cleared his throat at my comment and my non-decline of his invitation seemed to rally his spirits, because the sex voice came on the phone in full force. “I do. It’s a condo but my place has a little patio with a hot tub and grill. I’ve never had anything nearly as nice. It seems like a shame to waste it.”
RIP, no.
“Oh. That sounds great. Thanks for thinking of me.” I needed reinforcements for this. “Did you invite the rest of the GEC?”
More throat clearing and when he talked, I had to cross and uncross my legs. “I wanted to ask you first. I didn’t want to put you on the spot if I asked in the chat.”
He didn’t have to say it was because the two of us were on a nonstop flight to fucking.
“Umm.” I should’ve been really conflicted, really thinking hard on how this shit was bad news. Instead I was running through my bathing suit inventory and wondering if I could still get the black Prada bikini I’d seen on the floor last week.
“I’m pretty flexible this weekend. José and I had talked about brunch, but if you’re inviting him too I’m sure he’ll want to do that instead.”
He let out a long exhale and I wondered again how much it meant for Rocco to have people he could make some burgers for on a Saturday afternoon.
“Okay, I’ll ask them on the chat. I’ll see you soon, Julia. Sleep well.”
There was no chance of that now, and because I needed a witness for my self-destruction in three acts, I texted Alba.
Julia: He invited me over to his place Saturday. He’s grilling. We won’t be alone.
I got four eggplant emojis and a peach.
Julia: You’re supposed to be my best friend.
Alba: I am, which is why I added the peach emoji to remind you to wear something that showcases your ass.
I would’ve told her I was already on the case, but she already knew that when I made a decision to wreck my own life, I didn’t stop until I got that W.
Chapter Eleven
Rocco
I had a house full of people.
I took a moment from getting more chips in the kitchen to slow down and take in the scene. I was actually hosting friends at my place.
“Hey, Rocco, you want to grab this charcuterie platter and bring it outside?” I turned around and saw Julia standing in my kitchen holding out a wooden board full of sliced meat and pickled things. I smiled at her, and for a second she smiled back, before schooling her face into the pleasant but distant expression she’d been using with me since the baseball game. Disappointment sat like lead in my stomach as I reached for the platter. I was trying to take her distance in stride. I mean it’s not like I didn’t get why she was doing it. I should be thankful she was being more mindful than I was.
Still I missed her smiles like air. I wanted to get closer. Tell her how every little thing I learned about her made me want her more.
She was wearing one of those long dresses that were tight at the top and flowy at the bottom. It was bright blue and it made her skin look golden. The neckline plunged just right, her breasts just beckoning for my hands. Her hair was up today, with her curls spilling on top of her head, her trademark hoops dangling from her ears.
Everything I wanted and absolutely could not have, standing in my apartment.
She cleared her throat and I realized I’d been standing there with the tray staring at her. “You can take that outside. When Salome is done with the cheese plate and bread, we’ll bring that out too.”
Salome, who never missed a thing, looked at the both of us with an amused expression. “Rocco took so long admiring the...” She winked at me,