“I wish you’d been there with me today. It was hard to pretend to be happy with my parents.”
Isaac pulled him close again. “I’m here now.”
“Yeah. You’re…. Thanks.” Tim pressed his face into the space where Isaac’s neck met his shoulders. Isaac smelled a little sweaty and a little like minty toothpaste, but Tim liked it. And he’d have to figure out a way to get Isaac to come with him to Colorado, because he could not give this up. “Thank you, Isaac.”
“You’re welcome.” Isaac took another deep breath. “I figure, what’s the use of going through what I did if I can’t help others avoid the same fate?”
“Yeah?” Tim sensed Isaac wasn’t just talking about the two of them.
“Yeah. I’m starting to think that’s part of my purpose. Like, when I was drowning myself in cheap beer, I could have died. I almost did a few times. I did some incredibly stupid, dangerous things. And I think, you know, if there’s some kind of higher power? I think he had a reason for rescuing me. I know that’s some twelve-steps shit, but… I can’t swim forever or my body will fall to pieces, but I can help people. Coach, maybe. Become a mentor. I don’t know. But my experience has value, I think.”
“It does, you’re right.” Tim yawned again. “Before I fall back to sleep, I have something to tell you.”
“Pat’s in Madrid.”
Tim jerked away, fully awake now. “How do you know that?”
“He was in the stands. He came up to talk to your parents just before Luke dragged me away. I still think I could have taken him.”
Tim laughed despite how tense he felt. “He came to see me at America House tonight.”
Isaac pressed his lips together and nodded. “What did he say? No, you don’t have to tell me.”
“Isaac, I do have to tell you.” Tim wrapped his hand around Isaac’s forearm. “He showed up all apologies. He said he came to see me at the Olympics to make up for all the times he missed my meets in the past, because he wants to be with me again.” He rolled his eyes.
“Oh,” Isaac said. He seemed disappointed in that. “Do you think he meant it?”
“He seemed sincere, but I—oh, Isaac, no.” Tim shook his head. “I’m not getting back together with him. There’s a reason I’m here with you now and not with him. So banish whatever you’re thinking from your mind.”
Isaac smiled faintly. “That dickbag really came to Madrid to try to win you back?”
“Apparently. I told him to go home. He’s too much of a distraction here.”
“Will he?”
“Remains to be seen.” Tim sighed and sank down beside Isaac. Seeing Pat had been horrific. He’d waited somewhere until Tim’s parents had left to return to their hotel; then he’d swooped into America House, signed a few autographs, and gone right to Tim to plead his case.
“I’m so sorry, Timmy. I know you’re mad about the money, but I needed to get to this audition in LA. See, they were filming a movie near Boulder. Wouldn’t that have been perfect? I did it for us, don’t you realize that? I wanted for us to be together. I love you so much. I still want to marry you.”
Tim believed Pat was being earnest. He didn’t trust Pat and sensed he still had an ulterior motive somewhere, but flying to Spain at his own expense seemed like a grand gesture, even for Pat, who generally spoke in grand gestures.
Still, Tim had no intention of taking him back. And now that they’d confronted each other and Tim had told Pat where he could stick his apologies, he felt a lot better. The anxiety of facing Pat had been worse than actually facing him, and Tim realized quickly he didn’t love Pat anymore—if he ever had—and he would not be letting Pat’s presence do anything to compromise his chance at the platform medal.
“I don’t love him, Isaac.”
Isaac nodded slowly. Tim wanted to protest, to say he was falling in love with Isaac, that it felt completely different from being with Pat, that he never wanted to be with Pat again, but he felt the pull of fatigue like something heavy dragging him under water.
“You’re exhausted,” Isaac said.
“I am.”
Isaac opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but instead he pressed his lips together and shook his head. “Here, let me get you out of some of these clothes. Then you can sleep.”