smell is complete crap. I probably hear half of what I should. My strength is reduced. My claws and fangs are barely useable as weapons.”
She swung her legs around to the side. “If you know all that, why do you continue to turn your back on your own abilities? Why haven’t you tried to accept that these talents are just part of who you are and connect with them?”
Declan blew out a loud breath and flopped down until he was lying flat on his back. “I’ve been neglecting the shifter part of me for so long, I don’t even know how to connect with it anymore.”
She hadn’t thought about that. “Have you ever tried? I mean really tried?”
He stared up at the ceiling of the cave. “Yeah, once or twice. But it was no good. It’s like trying to speak a language you’ve never even heard.”
Kendra almost laughed, and would have if the whole thing didn’t make her want to cry. “Maybe you just need to be in the right situation. Or maybe you need a session with the DCO’s psychologist. Better yet, Clayne. If anyone could give you lessons on how to get in touch with your inner shifter, it’s him.”
Declan shot up. “What did you say?”
“That Clayne could give you lessons on how to be more like him.”
She didn’t realize she’d stuck her foot in her mouth again until Declan’s eyes suddenly glowed red. What the hell have I said this time?
“I bet you’d like it if I were more like him, wouldn’t you?” Declan growled.
She’d never heard Declan growl like that—ever. It shocked her. Then made her angry. She didn’t know what she’d said to piss him off, but it obviously had something to do with Clayne. Well, she was too cold, too worn out, and too damn tired of Declan snapping at her every time she stepped over a line she couldn’t see.
“What the hell is it with you?” she demanded. “Every time I mention Clayne’s name, you act like I slapped you with a cold fish.”
Red swirled in Declan’s eyes. “I don’t like him.”
“Why not? He’s a shifter like you.”
“He’s nothing like me,” Declan shouted. “And I don’t like him because you do.”
That knocked her off balance for a second. “Of course I like him,” she said, trying to sound casual. “We’re friends.”
His lips twisted in a sarcastic smile. “Friends? Right.”
“Why is that so hard for you to believe?”
Declan took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly, the reddish glow fading from his eyes. She knew it sounded crazy, but it seemed that some of his life had drained out as well.
“It’s hard to believe you’re friends because I know you’ve always wanted it to be more than that,” Declan said softly. “Am I stupid to think that it never went any further than that?”
Damn. There it was. The thing she’d been concerned about all along. Declan had figured out she’d been obsessed with Clayne for years and realized the wolf shifter was the reason she’d never given him the time of day. She didn’t know exactly how to handle this, but Kendra was damn sure never going to admit she slept with Clayne. That was one mistake she was never going to even think about again. If Declan called her on it, she wouldn’t deny it, but she wouldn’t volunteer it either. He deserved an honest answer though, at least as honest as she could give him.
She tucked her hair behind her ear and met his gaze. “You’re right. I spent a lot of time trying to get beyond the friend stage with Clayne, and it worked. Thing is, when we finally went out a few months back, we bombed out.”
Declan frowned. “What do you mean bombed out?”
“As in we had zero chemistry,” she clarified. “It wasn’t the worst date I’d ever been on, but it wasn’t a date that either one of us had any interest in repeating.”
“Wait a minute.” Declan’s frown deepened. “You only went out with him for the first time a few months ago?”
She nodded. “Pretty sad, huh? I moon over a guy for nearly six years before he finally asks me out and the date turns out to be a complete disaster.”
Declan’s whole posture changed as he gave her a wry smile. “I know a guy who mooned over a girl for nearly seven years before he gave up. And he never even got to go out with her. So, in the contest of who’s more pathetic,