Gucci.’
Tyler frowned and angled his head a little to study her from the corner of his eye. ‘Are you still mad at me for the handcuffs?’
‘You did what you felt you had to do.’ She shrugged. ‘I’d probably have done the same thing in your shoes.’
He opened his mouth, sucked in a breath and hesitated. It wasn’t like him but in the blink of an eye he recovered, his voice laced with determination. ‘We need to talk.’
‘Now?’ she asked with as innocent an expression as she could muster. ‘I thought you wanted to leave?’
‘You rearranged your schedule to be here, right?’
‘Grace did.’
‘How much time did she get you?’
‘I’m visiting veterans after lunch.’
‘What about tonight?’
Since she wasn’t convinced prolonging the agony would make it feel any better Miranda lied. ‘I’m pretty solidly booked for the next few weeks. We could meet up for coffee after the election if you like. You have my number.’
‘Still trying to cut me loose, aren’t you?’
‘You’re not my bodyguard any more.’
‘So that’s it. There’s nothing you want to say to me.’
‘Of course there is.’ She sighed, struggling to keep up the pretence. ‘You’ve watched over me all this time, put up with a lot and I’ve enjoyed our time together. I can never begin to repay you for—’
Tyler shook his head. ‘I shouldn’t have left the keys with Grace. That was a mistake. Go find the damn doctor so I can blow this joint. But if you think we’re done here you can forget it.’ He pushed to his feet. ‘Just be thankful I’m not in any shape to toss you over my shoulder again.’
She blinked. ‘I don’t get why you’re angry.’
‘Well, when you figure it out let me know.’
When he turned and started an argument with the zipper on the sports bag, Miranda took a step forwards. ‘Tyler—’
He lifted the bag and marched past her. ‘I’m going to sign the paperwork.’
The silence in the car on the journey to his apartment was deafening. He left with a curt ‘thanks’ and not so much as a sideways glance at her. It was awful. She’d never felt worse—empty and alone and facing an endlessly long Tyler-less future. It was over. He was gone.
Miranda would never know how she kept her facade in place for the rest of the scheduled itinerary. But at the end of an interminably long day it took its toll.
She dropped onto the edge of her bed, deflating like a balloon losing air. When the tears came she didn’t stop them. There was nothing remotely dainty or feminine about it when the floodgates opened, either. When she lay down on the covers heaving sobs racked her body until her face was mottled and her eyes were red and swollen. Later, when she hauled herself upright and made it under a hot shower, she turned the water on to high and cried some more while its warmth did nothing to remove the chill from her body.
It was late when she was reduced to sniffling into her pillow. Staring into the darkness, she started to think things through. She thought about the first time he took her hand; how big a pain in the ass he’d been when he blocked her escape attempts; how he’d been the first person to be brutally honest with her; how the most dangerous man she’d ever met could make her feel safe and protected. Then she thought about the night in the alley, the shudder that ran through his body when he held her, how he resisted the kiss but wrestled control from her. From that point of view he’d always had the upper hand. When he kissed her nothing else mattered but kissing him back. At least it hadn’t until her heart got involved.
Then something happened. Somewhere in the middle of her sentimental journey to revisit each landmark in their relationship a spark of hope ignited, the flame flickering defiantly in the midst of her doubt she could ever be enough for him.
‘I want you to stay away from me,’ she’d lied.
‘You don’t want that any more than I do,’ he’d replied.
Her heart tripped and picked up speed.
Unless he was trying to push her away Tyler didn’t say things he didn’t mean. But what if he’d been saying more than she’d heard? What if she’d been so wrapped up in how she felt—for a change—she’d missed how he felt?
She hadn’t gone looking for it until she needed it to be there, but once she did...
‘I’m supposed to keep my