Helpless (Steel Demons MC #5) - Crystal Ash Page 0,83

walked up my thighs, purring hard when I went to scratch the side of her face.

“She never left your side.” Mari gave an affectionate scratch at the base of the cat’s tail.

“Neither did you.” I returned my gaze to the stunning woman sitting next to me, the healer of not just my body, but the toxic parts of my soul I once thought were beyond repair. “Thank you, Mari. For everything you’ve done for me.”

Her smile was lighthearted, but the air between us felt tense and heavy. “I’m just so glad you’re better. I hated seeing you so unwell.” She looked down from my face, eyes traveling slowly down my torso.

It only hit me then how exposed I was. Sunlight poured in through the windows, so she could see everything.

I’d felt self-conscious of my scars before, but never like this. Every doubt I thought I’d conquered fought and clawed its way back to the forefront of my mind. She was kind enough to not treat me like a freak, but I’d always be something other, a curiosity. It didn’t matter that our bodies found each other during sleep and seemed to fit so well. In her eyes, I’d never be held in the same regard as her men.

And that hurt me more than I ever expected.

I wanted to wipe my skin clean, to erase everything that designated me as other, just to have her look at me the same way she saw them. But I was helpless to alter the past that left its marks permanently on me. In that moment, all I could do was find a shirt to put on.

Mariposa blinked, her cheeks flushing a delicate pink as her gaze returned to my face. “I’ll check your soup.” She stood abruptly. “Watch out for Jandro. He’s rolling toward you and will try to smother you with cuddles.”

I decided to stand too, much to Freyja’s dismay, but it was funny to watch Jandro roll completely off of the bed to the floor.

“Fuckers.” He rubbed his face, grumbling at Mari’s cackles.

“We need to set up guardrails for you,” she cooed.

“You know I can’t be near an edge. Usually you or Gunner is there to stop me.”

Mari wouldn’t let me have solid food until I finished all of my soup. Once she was satisfied, she had Jandro bring up toast, eggs, and bacon from the kitchen.

“Don’t eat too fast or you’ll feel sick again,” she warned me.

“It’s so cute to see you fussing over him,” Jandro teased her over his coffee.

She glared daggers at him, but otherwise didn’t respond.

T-Bone, Grudge, and Larkan joined us for breakfast a bit later. The moment I saw Grudge, a strange urge pulled in my chest, which I ultimately decided not to question. I went up to him and pulled the silent man into a hug.

“Thank you,” I muttered. “For helping Mari, and for giving me your blood.” He looked stunned when I pulled away, and I was sure everyone in the room looked the same. Shit, maybe that was the wrong thing to do?

“Don’t get used to that.” I brushed it off with a wave of my hand and went to return to my food. But Grudge’s chuckling laugh escaped and he thumped me on the back.

Once everyone finished breakfast, it was clear we all had one thing on our minds—heading home.

“You owe for the paint you scraped off in your spill,” Jandro jabbed my arm. “Lucky for you, nothing was badly damaged. Your bike just looks ugly now.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll pay you back for the paint.” I downed the rest of my coffee, eager to feel the speed and power of my machine under me again.

“Do you hear this shit?” Jandro was pointing at me, but looking at Mari and the Sons. “‘Yeah, yeah’? Dude hit his head and woke up with Reaper’s fucking attitude. Mari, bring the old Shadow back. We don’t need two Reapers.”

Mari nearly choked on her own coffee. “It’s not his fault you become an uptight dad when it comes to taking care of their bikes.”

“An uptight dad?! Dios mio, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am, I just love giving you a hard time.” She grabbed his jaw to kiss him, and an odd sensation stirred in my chest.

It felt sharp, like how I remembered pain felt when I was being cut. But it wasn’t because she was kissing him. I’d seen her being affectionate with her men plenty of times before. Maybe it was just cementing in