Helpless (Steel Demons MC #5) - Crystal Ash Page 0,82

how else could it have happened?

I lifted my other arm, propping it up behind my head so I could see her easily. Her eyes moved under her closed lids as she slept, dark eyelashes occasionally twitching. She sucked in a deep breath and stirred, her arm holding me tighter, but she didn’t wake.

Taking in the details of her face, I struggled to remember the past day or two. Last night I felt better, more lucid than before. I felt good enough to shower and walk around a bit. Before that was a lot of feeling awful with hazy memories. I was either freezing or sweating my balls off. Thirsty, hungry, and weak, but unable to keep anything in my stomach. My body felt fatigued and stiff, like I wanted to sleep for weeks, but then I was too hot, cold, or nauseous to sleep.

Physically I felt miserable. I had no idea if I was sick for weeks or mere days. But for the first time ever, I had no fear of dying alone and discarded while being sick. Because Mariposa was always there.

Through the feverish haze, her face was the only thing I saw clearly. It might have been real or hallucinated, but I sometimes heard her voice telling me I was safe and okay. Once in a while I felt her hands holding mine and her lips on my forehead. That had to be just the fever dreams, but even so, I knew she would heal me. Even at a subconscious level, I knew she was safe, capable, and cared about me to some extent.

Looking at her now, her body glued to my side and resting on me so sweetly, I didn’t just feel healed from the infection. This trip, this time we got to spend together, made me feel like something deeper inside had healed. Where there was once anxiety and shame, I now felt warmth and ease.

I was still fucked up. I would never be the same as other people. But a small something within me had shifted. My past didn’t have the power over me it once had.

Mariposa sighed and began stirring some more. I lifted my arm away to give her space to move. Her cheek dragged along my chest, lips brushing my skin as she pulled herself away. That sensation, along with her hand sliding across my stomach, hit me with a rush of heat and desire. I wanted to draw her back into my side and taste how those lips felt on my own.

“Morning.” Mari rubbed her eyes as she rolled to the center of the bed.

“Good morning.”

She smiled groggily and warmth bloomed in my chest. Saying good morning became our daily ritual. She used to force it on me, saying it when I dreaded hearing the words because I was expected to answer back. When I finally did answer, she never stopped. Eventually I looked forward to seeing her, to having the opportunity to say two insignificant words to her. It was never insignificant to me, and I wondered if she knew that.

I just then noticed Jandro sleeping on his stomach on the far side of the bed. Oh yeah, he got here yesterday too. He accumulated some serious scars of his own, from the burns on his back. And yet Mari still loved him…

Don’t start wishing for that. Be satisfied with what you have already.

“How do you feel?” She sat up and stretched, exposing a sliver of belly under the hem of her sleeping shirt.

“Better.” My stomach protested loudly. “Hungry.”

She grinned, scooting toward the foot of the bed. “I was hoping to hear you say that. Let’s start you with soup, then see about introducing solid food.”

While my soup heated on the hotplate, she checked my temperature and other vitals. “Fever’s gone,” she reported, then picked up her stethoscope. “Breathe for me.” She pressed the dial to my chest and I looked down at her fingers so close to my skin. “Your resting heartbeat sounds back to normal. Lean forward for me.” Once I did, she took one glance at my back and let out a soft gasp. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” she muttered. “All signs of infection are gone and the arrow wounds are closing up beautifully. If you’re feeling up to it, I don’t see why you couldn’t ride home today.”

“Really?” I started looking at her, then four points of soft pressure on my legs drew my gaze down. “Good morning, Freyja.” The cat chirped as she