Helpless (Steel Demons MC #5) - Crystal Ash Page 0,48
a still quiet common area of the bed-and-breakfast. Everyone’s doors were closed and I couldn’t detect any movement—none except for the man already at the coffee pot.
“Buenos dias.” Jandro seated himself at a table with a full cup. “You’re up early, man.”
“Yeah.” I’d forgotten he was such an early riser. “Wanted to make sure I was prepared for today.”
“Mm-hm.”
I felt him watch me as I headed for the pot myself and filled a clean cup, then meandered to the same table and sat across from him.
“What are you up to today?” I brought the steaming, dark liquid to my lips.
“Exploring Four Corners, probably.” He leaned back and stretched, lacing his hands behind his head. “Try to keep my mind off missing the hell out of my woman while she’s gone.”
“Mm.” I nodded with a swallow of coffee, like I understood how that felt. If it was anything like the ache I felt whenever Mariposa wasn’t around, I knew it well. “I’ll make sure nothing happens to her. You have my word.”
“I know I do.” He didn’t seem relieved, but continued to peer at me from across the table. “You think it’s gonna be…difficult for you?”
I nearly choked on my next swallow. “Difficult how?”
“You know.”
I placed my mug down on the table. “I don’t, Jandro.”
“You’ve slept with her before. Now you’re going to be in close proximity again, without any of us there for days.”
The hard, familiar clamp of anxiety tightened around my chest, as it always did when someone insinuated that I did something wrong. But I felt more in control this time. Now, I felt confident that I might not actually screw up like I was expected to.
“You know I wouldn’t do anything behind your back, Jandro. And I’d never put Mariposa in a situation where she’d be frightened like that again. We’ve both gained a lot of trust in each other.”
His eyebrows lifted. That wasn’t the answer he was expecting. While Jandro meant well, I realized he was used to ordering me around. Both because he was vice president, and also because I was once meek, scared of my own shadow, and didn’t know any better.
“Not behind my back,” he repeated slowly, weighing each of the words. “Do you really mean to say…”
“It’s Mariposa’s decision too,” I said, which made his mouth drop open. “I don’t know if she wants…anything with me, or just to be friends. But I’m grateful to her and value her in my life, regardless.”
Jandro rocked forward in his chair, placing his palms down on the table. “Shadow, dude. We’ve talked about this before—”
“You told me I’m inexperienced, which is true. But I’m not dumb, and I’m not a bad man.”
“I never said—”
“No, but you think I’m not good enough for her.” I sucked in a breath that was almost painful to take in. My chest felt like it was going to explode, but I had to finish saying my piece. “Which is fair enough, Jandro. But that’s ultimately not your decision. It’s hers.”
His mouth abruptly closed and opened again with surprise, before stroking his chin with his hand.
“I suppose you’re right.” His expression turned a bit embarrassed. “I just want the best for her, you know. But she’s her own woman, and I do love that about her.” He looked toward his bedroom door, still closed, with silence behind it. “One of my best friends is already with her. I suppose it’s not too weird if another one joins us.”
“I just want you to know that,” my grip returned to the coffee mug, “I appreciate everything you’ve taught me about the world. And now I’m at a point where I think I’ll be okay managing on my own.”
He nodded sagely at that. “I respect that, Shadow. Hell, I might’ve held your hand on some things for too long. But I’m glad you’re feeling more confident now. It’s a good look on you, bro.”
“Thanks.” I hid my heated face behind another large swallow of coffee.
“I trust you out there, in every respect,” he said. “And while I’m gonna be counting the seconds til she comes back, I trust Mari too. So, if you still get those moments where you feel…skittish, let’s say, just know that you can trust her too.” My oldest friend gave me a solemn look across the table. “Remember that, man. She’d never hurt you.”
“I know.” I set my now-empty coffee cup down on the table. “But thanks for the reminder.”