My mind served up no answers from me. Silence from my voice of reason. Nothing but sand whirling in the wind and flitting dragonflies in my line of sight.
I bled for her situation. Understood better than most people would. As true as that was, Nathan didn’t want me for a fairy godmother. Did I try to salvage whatever we had left, or should I just let him be?
Something moved behind a copse of coconut trees. I straightened and squinted through the window.
There.
The figure bobbed and a hat poked over the bush. Out stepped a gardener. He tramped over the mulch bed, carrying on with his weeding.
I flopped against the cushion. With the nightmares running through my head all night and morning, it was no wonder I was jumping at shadows.
I wasn’t at school and Hendrix confirmed my time was my own. Despite my father’s threats, one day skipping activities wouldn’t kill me. Make that three days of peace since we were finally butting up against the weekend.
“—discussion, everyone. We’ll meet again next Tuesday,” said Mrs. Evanston. “Belle? Would you give me a few minutes?”
I looked up. Mrs. Evanston was moving through the couches, coming for me.
“I’d like to speak to you.”
I cast about for an excuse. “Can’t. I’ve got to get ready for the field trip.”
“I let the others go fifteen minutes early so we’d have time.”
Checking my phone, I confirmed the time. Crap.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“May I sit?”
I pulled up my feet, giving her room.
Mrs. Evanston had a sweet face to go along with her sweet, soft voice. She sported a small fro peppered with butterfly clips, and her bohemian style matched mine for the day. We both wore loose dresses and kimonos.
“I’ve noticed you don’t say much during these sessions,” she began. “That’s okay. These topics can be difficult to discuss in a group. I wanted to give you the opportunity to talk one-on-one.”
“The reason I don’t share is because the topic is marriage. I’m not interested in getting married, Miss E. When I have my way, this summer will be a speed bump in my rearview.”
To my surprise, she smiled. “I see. You’re here to have fun with your friends. No worries. You’re not the first. Thinking about it, it wouldn’t hurt to expand the conversation. Talk about where you all are in your lives.” She patted my knee. “See you Monday, Miss Adler.”
I blinked. That was it?
Apparently it was, because Evanston was turning away and heading for the door.
“My parents forced me to come here,” I blurted. “I’m not here for friends, fun, or sunbathing on the beach. I’m here because they said if I didn’t come, they’d take everything from me.”
Slowly, she faced me.
“You’re the one with years of study into human behavior. Help me understand how two people who’ve been there for you your whole life, would make you choose between two miserable futures?”
Evanston reclaimed her seat. “What was their explanation?”
“That they’re doing what’s best for me and one day I’d see that.” I dropped my gaze to the tight fists on my lap. “But they’re wrong. For me and— and whoever I married,” I forced out. “I’d be subjecting them to a life of misery too. No one deserves that.”
“Why do you feel it would be misery? There are people who have arranged marriages and find companionship with their partner. Even love.”
“It would be misery because he would make it so.”
“He?”
I went on like she hadn’t spoken. “We’ve lived under his shadow for years. Running. Hiding. Trying and failing to stay one step ahead. That won’t stop after I’m married. If anything, he will... will...” I drew my kimono tighter around me.
She placed her hand over the nails cutting my forearm. “What will he do, Belle?”
“He’ll take it away,” I finished. “Like he’s taken everything.”
“Belle, if someone in your life is threatening you, then I want you to know I am here and will help you in any way I can. But what I wish to say first is love, trust, and respect is what you deserve. He has no right to take it from you. More than that, he has no right to stand in its way.”
She squeezed my hand. “All of us are fallen angels born searching for our wings. How we find them is our own journey to take. But they are out there. They may be on a little pocket of sand, surf, and sunbathing. You may find them in the fulfillment of a lifetime goal.” Evanston tapped my