and your mom a new life.” I leaned in. “I’m willing, Nathan. I want to. I can’t stand the thought of your mom trapped in that house with him.”
“Belle—”
“The good days she has left should be spent with you. In a place that makes her happy and with people who make her happy—”
“Belle—”
“You and I can keep it platonic. And when you get your inheritance, we’ll split up—”
“No.”
I ground to a halt, hearing the edge to his voice, and finally seeing it. Nathan was pissed... at me. “No? Why?”
“Why? You have to ask?” He shoved away from the island. “You don’t want to get married, Belle! Least of all to me. You think I cheated on you.”
Stiffening, I said, “You did.”
“See?” He pointed. “There it is. The barely concealed rage. You can’t stand me most days, Belle. If we got married, we’d kill each other.”
“It’s not about us. It’s about—”
“My mom,” he finished. Nathan let out a wild laugh that edged me back. “It’s about pity. Think I’m some pathetic little orphan that needs you to save me.”
“Where the hell are you getting this from?!” I was on my feet yelling before I knew it. “It’s not pity, you great, thumping jackass! It’s caring! About you and your mom. It’s wanting you both to be happy. This is what you said you wanted!”
“Not from you!”
The roar blew me back.
“I loved you! You were this amazing bright light that shot into my life. When I was with you, my dad wasn’t dead. My grandma wasn’t gone. The light didn’t go out behind my mom’s eyes taking me and our whole lives with it. You made the idea of a perfect life real to me. Loving you. Having a family. A future. That was what you did to me. Made me believe in the impossible.”
My lips parted but nothing came out.
“You made me so fucking happy, I kept you a secret. Because I knew somehow, some way, you’d be taken from me.”
The lump in my throat strangled me. I gasped, fighting for a breath, fighting for a word to make this stop before we couldn’t go back.
“Our breakup wrecked me, Belle. I lost more than you when I left that summer.” He erased the distance between us. “You can’t come back after two years and pick me out of the puddle like a lost shivering puppy. Give me everything I wanted from us and tell me it won’t be real. That I’ll be forced to watch you walk out of my life again after our arrangement is done. Asking me to marry you isn’t a save, Belle.”
I reeled like he slapped me. I couldn’t make a sound as he went into the fridge and emerged with a bottle of chocolate sauce.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got someone waiting upstairs.” He blew past me.
“Good night, Belle.”
Chapter Eight
“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM a partner?”
“Trust.”
“Respect.”
“Love.”
Mrs. Evanston nodded along to the shouted replies. “Good, everyone. Now let’s dig in. What is trust, respect, and love? What does it look like?”
“It looks like never forgetting your anniversary,” Nora piped up. “Twenty-two years and my dad goes big every year. On their twentieth, he recreated their honeymoon.”
“Wonderful, Nora.”
The living room was fit to burst with guys and girls brought together for that morning’s discussion session. The couches, armchairs, and chaises were angled to put Mrs. Evanston in the center. The only one outside of the circle was me.
I sat at the back of the room, posted on the bay window. Heavy shades laid a dark tint on my world. An unfortunate necessity since an entire night of crying into my pillow left my eyes swollen and pink.
I thought Nathan was finished making me do that. But then I had to ask myself if I deserved it. I hadn’t really considered him when I made the offer. I mean, of course I thought of him as the son dying to rescue his mother. But not as the ex-lover recovering from a breakup that left no survivors.
How it must feel for a person you once loved to see you as an object of pity.
But I don’t. I never did. It’s not about how I see Nathan. It’s how I see Vanessa.
As me.
I dropped my head, staring at the deceptively beautiful day.
If Vanessa Prince for all her fighting and strength can’t escape her shadow, then what hope did I have? How long before I ended up right where he wanted