Graham’s lungs. What would Katherine look like, standing there, holding their child? Guilt’s familiar sting pricked his conscience. He’d been at sea for so long that his memory of Katherine’s appearance had grown faint and grew more so by the day.
Suddenly desperate to be anywhere else, Graham jumped to his feet and wiped his palms on his buckskin breeches. What did he know about being a father? About fathering a girl?
His daughter smiled at him, drool trickling down her chin, and guilt assailed him once more. He might not be comfortable, but she still belonged to him. He reached for Lucy and forced words through a dry mouth. “May I?”
Graham did not overlook Miss Barrett’s hesitation. But after eyeing him for several seconds, the woman relented and allowed Lucy to pass from her arms to his. The baby’s mouth hung open and she stared at him, her large eyes full of wonder. Miss Barrett released the bow under Lucy’s chin and pulled off her white bonnet, unleashing an airy mass of wispy curls.
An ache settled in the pit of Graham’s stomach as the child melted against his chest. News that Katherine was with child had not reached him until she was a few months from giving birth, and by the time he’d received news of his wife’s death, the child was already three months old. Lucy cooed and looked at him with Katherine’s velvet eyes. “My dear Lucille Katherine Sterling,” he told her, “I am very pleased to meet you.”
Lucy pulled his nose.
He bounced her, and she squealed. Her tiny fingers tugged his hair.
“Curious little thing, is she not?” He scrunched his nose and squinted. The child giggled in delight. Graham smiled. Perhaps being around a child wasn’t so difficult after all.
He glanced up at Miss Barrett and sobered as his eyes met hers. “How can I even begin to repay you for your kindness to Katherine and my Lucy?”
“I can think of the perfect way to thank me, sir. Consent to marry me.”
Her pointed reply caught Graham off guard, and he stared at her for much longer than was proper. The answer was clear and staring him in the face. Miss Barrett had comforted his wife in her final days and cared for his child since birth. Surely there could be no better guardian for Lucy when he returned to his duties.
But marriage? The idea seemed preposterous.
Miss Barrett’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “I know how this must sound, Captain Sterling. But I promise you my only interest is Lucy. I am determined to keep my promise to her mother and ensure that she is well cared for. And if I must endure the humiliation of asking a stranger to marry me in order to keep her with me, then so be it.”
Graham picked up the toy horse Lucy had abandoned and handed it to her, attempting to buy himself more time. Miss Barrett’s argument was persuasive. But had his experience taught him nothing?
No, he would deal with this now. “Miss Barrett, I am indebted to you, and I am at your service, but I’ve no intention of marrying again at present. I am sure we can devise some other arrangement.”
His refusal seemed only to fuel Miss Barrett’s determination. Though her chin trembled with every syllable uttered, her voice rang strong and determined. “Captain Sterling, if another arrangement were possible, I would never have proposed this one.”
Perhaps she saw him wavering. She took a step toward him. “You need help, Captain. Someone has to care for Lucy when you return to your duties. I can provide that assistance. I will love and raise her just as Katherine would have done. Upon my honor, she will want for nothing.”
Graham’s high collar seemed to tighten around his neck. Lucy’s happiness would have been Katherine’s final wish, of that he was certain. But marriage? He could not. Would not. It was too soon.
Miss Barrett’s words snapped him back to the present. “Please, at least consider the arrangement. What have you to lose? If we marry, you will be master of Winterwood Manor. You will be free to do as you choose, and you will be able to rest in the knowledge that Lucy’s future is secure, regardless of what happens. All I ask, all I need, in exchange is your name.”
Hazy thoughts raced through Graham’s mind, each fighting for dominance. He prided himself on being a man of sure decisions and swift actions, but for this, he needed time to think. He swallowed