his life. And he’d had lots of opportunity to work on them.
There was just enough light to make out her face, but it told him nothing. He felt her withdrawal on a deeper level, as if she was taking a silent step back from him, then another. Tiptoeing away, in the privacy of her mind. Hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine.” Her voice was detached. “I’m great. You need a lot of reassurance, Nate, you know that?”
As an experiment, he tugged her toward himself. Sure enough, she resisted the pull. Just as he thought. The door had slammed shut. The lock had engaged.
That night had seemed too good to be true…because it fucking was.
He waited until he could control his tone. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She rolled away, sitting up with her straight, slender back to him. That mass of wavy dark hair tapered down to curly wisps at waist level.
He let his silence speak for him. She made an impatient sound. “I don’t owe you an explanation for every last little feeling that I have, Nate.”
“Not unless I’m the one who made you have it,” he replied.
She waved a dismissive hand. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but there’s a lot going on inside my mind that has nothing to do with you.”
“I don’t doubt it. If you told me about some of it, maybe I could help.”
Elisa got up, shaking her hair back. “I knew this was a mistake.”
Well, then. That was his cue, if he ever heard one. Nate got up and reached for his pants. He didn’t trust himself to say another word.
Elisa scooped up her tank top from the floor and yanked it over her head, shaking her hair loose over it. “Look, I’m sorry,” she said. “That sounded bitchy. The sex was amazing. But the reason that I held back for so long was because I knew that we’d come to exactly this point. I didn’t want to have to cut you off, and be rude. To make you feel rejected. You don’t deserve it. I just didn’t want to do that.”
“So don’t,” he said. “No one’s forcing you.”
“You have no idea what’s going on with me, Nate.”
“So tell me,” he urged.
She blew out a sharp sigh. “I’ve never had sex like that. It really was amazing. Wonderful. But I have nothing else for you, and I want my privacy back. I know it sounds harsh, but you need to go. Right now.”
Nate methodically tugged on his shoes. Tucked in his shirt. Buckled his belt. That was how long it took to get his face under control before he looked at her again.
“We have something special,” he said, pulling on his shoulder holster.
“Don’t make this harder,” she said. “Let it go. Let me go. That’s all that can happen.”
“Why? Why does this have to be it?” He simply couldn’t keep the words back.
She threw up her hands. “Because of me, okay? I’m messed up! I’ll ruin your life! True thing. I know it doesn’t seem like it to you, but I’m actually trying to do the right thing here. I should never have slept with you in the first place.”
“Why would you ruin my life?” Nate shrugged on his suit jacket. “You’re not the life-ruining type. I’ve met that type before. I can spot them at a hundred yards. You’re not one of them. You’re a great person. You’re creative, positive, you work hard, you’re talented, you’re ready to help. Everyone likes you. Demi adores you. If you were that messed up, we would have noticed by now. You’re blowing smoke at me.”
She held open the door to the apartment. “Goodbye, Nate.”
He pulled on his overcoat and stepped through the door. “This is not over.”
“Wrong.” She shut the door in his face.
Not fast enough. He’d caught it. The catch of tears in her voice.
Nate leaned his forehead against the door. His heart thudded like he’d been running, and his eyes stung. He tapped the door with his fingertip.
“I’m on to you.” He said the words so softly, Elisa would only hear them if she was right on the other side, leaning on the door herself. He was sure that she was there. No need to raise his voice. “You don’t fool me for one second.”
No response.
“I’m a tough bastard,” he went on. “Tougher than whoever’s fucking with you.”
“Goddamn it.” He could barely hear her whisper behind the door. “Just go.”
“For now,” he told her. “But I’ll be back.”
Nate went down the stairs and