I’ve got my shit together?”
“Don’t you?” I look at her. She’s brilliant, has a great job, is doing what she loves. She’s married to an awesome guy. She has everything I want.
“I struggle each and every day wondering if this is going to be the day I make that fatal misstep that results in either one of our Guardians getting killed or one of our rescues not making it home. My tech and intel have to be spot on. There’s no room for error. And as much as I want to hole up in my job, there’s Noodles to think of. He’s easy going, but he’s much like you. Not to mention the baby on board. We aren’t ready to be parents.”
“You aren’t?”
“Not at all. Noodles hovers. He wants to know where I am, what I’m doing. If I’m safe, especially now.” She touches her belly. “He wants to protect me and shelter me, and yet he can’t do any of those things. We didn’t plan this pregnancy, and it’s causing stress. Lots of stress. Don’t be fooled by all the perfection you see around you. Every relationship has its stress points. Yours has nothing to do with whether Spike is faithful but rather your faith in him. You need to give him time and let him decide when to open up this particular part of his life. If you push, he’s only going to get defensive and push back.”
“Wow. I had no idea.”
“Hopefully, it helps. You need to decide if the man you’ve grown to love is capable of despicable things, or if maybe he’s a hero in disguise.”
I hang on every word, taking in everything Mitzy has to say. She sounds like she’s got the answers to all the important questions, but I only hear doubt reverberating in my brain.
I’m such a pathetic loser.
Electricity in the air lifts hairs on the back of my neck. I know that feeling and stifle a gasp. Mitzy looks up and glances over my shoulder.
“On that note, I say my farewells.” She gathers her things, then mouths Good luck, and makes her departure. “Hey, Spike, what’s up?”
Twenty-Five
Angel
Spike’s deep, melodious voice hits hard. My stomach clenches, and my heart trips on a beat. His smoldering gaze takes me in, and his voice wraps around me like sin. “Hi, Angel.”
I want to ask him where he’s been and who he’s been with, but I bite my tongue. I refuse to become that needy bitch. Instead, I’ll wait, and watch, and try to have faith like Mitzy said. Could it be true that my problems stem from abandonment issues?
“Sorry I ran off like that.” He sits in the lounge chair Mitzy vacated. “Did you miss me?”
“I did.” The urge to ask that tiny question wars within me, but I bury it. I don’t want him to think I’m the kind of chick who’s insecure and digs for information. If he wants to tell me, he will.
“I missed you too.” He stretches out his hand and lightly brushes my fingers. “It’s a gorgeous day, don’t you think?”
Every day in California is a gorgeous day. I bite back a snappy comment and simply stare into the sky. The sun’s not quite overhead. The sky is capped in blue with puffy white clouds drifting across the sky.
“You and Mitzy seem to be getting along.”
“We are. It’s nice to have someone to talk to.” I want to add ‘while you ditch me for whoever you went to see,’ but I manage to keep that vile thought to myself and smile at him instead.
“How do you feel about going for a drive?” His brows arch suggestively.
How do I feel about it? Going for a drive means going to the house he appears to have rented on a long-term lease to screw around. I’m too pissed to even think about having sex with him, but far too weak to refuse. The thing is, I miss him. I desperately miss him, and I need to reconnect before I go completely insane.
“That sounds wonderful.” I let a smile fill my face and ignore the pain in my heart. Mitzy told me to have faith in Spike, and I owe him at least the benefit of the doubt, but that’s incredibly hard. I don’t know if I’m capable of it, and now that doubt has crept in, I don’t know how I’m going to rid myself of it.
Spike offers a hand to help me up. I take it, then walk ahead of him to