Heartland (True North #7) - Sarina Bowen Page 0,58
though?”
“Can you just stop being the philosopher king for a second and tell me I'm not an asshole?”
“You’re not an asshole... usually.”
“Oh, for fuck's sake.”
“In this case I think you've been an asshole to three people. Chastity, Kaitlyn, and yourself, too.”
“Anyone else you want to add to the list?”
“Nope, that will do.”
I pull out my phone and try Chastity’s land line.
It rings and rings with no answer.
Twenty-One
Chastity
I spend the rest of Monday hiding in my room, feeling weepy and very sorry for myself. Every time I remember the things that Kaitlyn said, I just want to die.
I know she was laying it on thick—she was intentionally cruel and trying her best to wound me. But it worked. She didn’t have to even try very hard, because the truth hurts. A lot.
Did you ask him to tutor you? Did you think he’d fall in love?
Check and check. I don’t know when she arrived home and began to overhear. But it really doesn’t matter. She saw right through me, probably from the first day we met.
That’s how pathetic I really am. Because I really did imagine that sex with Dylan would make him return all my feelings. I hoped he’d fall in love with me. That’s all I ever wanted, since the first day I met him.
And I’m obviously bad at hiding it. Given the choice, I’d hide in my room forever. Except I’d starve to death and fail my classes.
So when dinnertime arrives, I finally pick myself up off the bed and tiptoe out into the hallway of our suite. It’s quiet, and Kaitlyn doesn’t seem to be here.
Small mercies.
In our bathroom, though, I find that my shampoo bottle has fallen off the tiny window ledge where we keep our products. Somehow, its top was loose, and now it’s spilled all over the tub. I pick it up, but most of the five-dollar bottle is already smeared everywhere.
It could have been an accident. But it wasn’t.
Worse yet, my toothbrush is in the wrong spot. And so is my toothpaste. I guess I’ll be replacing those, because only the lord knows what she did with them.
And there goes another seven dollars I don’t have. I didn’t mean to make an enemy, but it looks like I have one.
When I’m looking as presentable as possible, I run down the stairwell to Ellie’s door and knock.
She opens it immediately, then gives me a giant metallic smile. “Hi! Need help with algebra?”
I shake my head. “Not this time. I was just wondering if you were going to dinner at the dining hall.”
Her smile widens, and I feel a little puff of optimism. I have never needed a friend as badly as I need one right now.
“I’ll get my coat,” she says.
“How was your weekend?” I ask, pushing macaroni around on my plate. It isn’t as good as Leah’s.
“Not bad. I went home and made apple pie with my mother.”
“Where’s home?”
“Brattleboro.”
“So that’s close?” I guess. I know it’s in Vermont, anyway.
“Two hours, actually. And they have to drive me both ways. That’s why I don’t get away from here very often.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” I set down my fork.
“What’s bothering you?” she asks. “Is it the hot farmer boy again?”
“Yes,” I say, because I obviously suck at lying.
“Oh no. What happened?”
I open my mouth to answer, but then close it again. I’m not ready to discuss it in detail. I don’t know if I ever will be. “I did some things. I took some chances. And I’m afraid I outed myself. Now he knows what a pathetic little fan girl I am.”
“You wouldn’t die,” I say, because I know how this works. I’m a veteran of screwing up my own life and suffering through the consequences. “You’d just be embarrassed for the next hundred years.”
“I’m sorry, Chastity.”
“I’ll be okay.” At least this time nobody will beat me for my poor judgment. Unless it’s Kaitlyn, and she’d do it if given the chance. “I’ll just avoid Dylan for the rest of my three and a half years in college. No problem.”
Ellie cracks up. “Does this mean you’ll need more algebra tutoring?”
“Definitely.” And I should have thought of that before I charmed Dylan out of his underwear. “I think the financial aid office would hook me up with a paid tutor if I asked.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Ellie insists. “I’ll help you for nothing. It’s not like I get out very much.”