without lying or leading him on.
“I told my folks that we’d spend the holidays with them this year.”
Vanessa stumbled over her own feet. Swatting at the control board, she steadied herself and slowed the pace. “What?”
“Christmas is magical there. Okay, maybe a little over-the-top old-fashioned, but it’s fun. And you’ll love my parents. They’re going to love you as much as I do.”
Her heart rate jumped and she was only at a walk now. “I can’t.”
“Why not? It’s just a couple of days. Everyone takes time off for Christmas.”
“I told you I’d probably be working through the holidays. I’ve got an end-of-year deadline. There’s no time to take off at Christmas. It’ll be a quick project. We can go visit them in the new year.”
“But it’s Christmas. You’ve never met my parents or sister. You need to make this relationship the priority instead of work … for once.”
She stepped off the treadmill and pulled her hands to her hips. What kind of comment was that? An ultimatum? “Or what?”
“Or … or … it’s not going to work.” He lifted his chin, his nostrils flaring a bit, and she didn’t think that was from the slow jog on the treadmill. “It’s Christmas, Vanessa. Everyone spends Christmas with family. It’s tradition.”
“I don’t have traditions, or family for that matter.” Well, she had Anna, but Anna understood. She never complained about not spending Christmas together. “Even when my parents were around, we didn’t have family traditions. They were always working. It’s the reason for the season, not where you are, that makes Christmas special.”
“I do. And you and I will be family. We need to pick out a tree. Bake cookies. Have a snowball fight. I don’t know, make something special and unique just between the two of us to do each year. Our own family traditions.”
He really is the perfect guy. Why can’t I love him? Her heart ached. “I have a commitment to this project, and only six weeks to get it done. We’ll do Christmas in January. That can be our tradition.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Robert muttered.
Break it off. He deserves someone who will love him. Who can love him. That’s not me. But he looked so disappointed. “I tell you what. You can come down to Fraser Hills, North Carolina, and we’ll get a tree there. See, I can compromise.” Only she hated herself for it right now. Anna’s voice echoed in her head. It’s time you decide if you’re going to marry him, or just let him move on.
“I can’t be in North Carolina to get a tree and back home in Connecticut by Christmas day for the festivities.” His words were short and clipped.
He stepped off his treadmill, toe-to-toe with her. “Vanessa, I want to spend Christmas with my family … as a couple. You and me. I really don’t think it’s asking too much.” He took her hand in his.
She shook her head. Please don’t ask me.
“You know, we could plan to get married at my folks’ place over the holidays, and you could look for a new job next year. One that isn’t so demanding on your time. Or take a year off. Would that be so bad?”
“You know I love my job. I’ve never even considered not working.”
“Why not? Do you like being so busy that there’s no room in your life for anything else?”
“Well, yes I like being busy, and I love working to a budget and deadline. So, I’m a little competitive. What’s wrong with that?” His job was certainly the same way. “I make a good living, Robert. I don’t want a different job.” And she didn’t want to spend any time she did take off on her best behavior singing carols with people she’d never met. I should send them a fruitcake.
“So, you’re saying you’re not going to spend Christmas with me?”
He was a good man and this gym was full of people they both knew. Most of whom were already listening in on their conversation. She didn’t want to embarrass him. She glanced away.
He shook his head, disappointment on his face. “I guess I have my answer. Merry Christmas.”
She dabbed at her skin with the towel, hoping most of the people hadn’t caught the full gist of the conversation.
He headed to the locker room without a word.
“I’m sorry,” she said—too quietly for him to hear, not that it mattered. She got back on her treadmill and pounded out a seven-minute mile, but no matter how far or fast she ran there