need of a foreman and I think you would be perfect for the job,” Elijah announced.
Jonathon stopped short and stared at his boss. “I’m honored but there are others here more experienced and deserving. Rusty for instance; hasn’t he been here since the beginning? Rand shows great interest in how it all works…”
Elijah’s raised hand cut him off.
“You just illustrated my point perfectly. You are fair minded and even tempered. Rand will be leaving to start his own place soon and Rusty has, without explanation, turned me down several times. Sparky is too quick tempered and for one reason or another the others don’t suit. I need you, Jonathon.”
“Well, sir, I accept; thank you.”
“Thank you; I’ve needed a foreman for the ranch some time now. Come on; I want to show you the property lines.”
***
Elijah tucked Lilly into bed and returned to the kitchen where his wife was helping Millie put the last of the dishes away. He waited until Millie had retired and Alexandria was moving toward the stairs before he dug up the nerve to approach her.
“Alexandria, I wanted to discuss our marriage; I know we got started on the wrong foot but I want us to work on it,” Elijah stated his case.
Alexandria felt panicked; she couldn’t. She couldn’t hear him put into words the fact that he didn’t love her. She raised her chin and addressed him directly.
“I’m not ready to discuss our mockery of a marriage,” she stated and turned to continue up the stairs.
Elijah sighed and moved into his office. How on earth did he even start to fix things if she wouldn’t even talk with him? He knew he didn’t love her; not like she wanted him to, or had wanted him to as the case may be. She might well hate him by now. He knew, however, that they couldn’t continue on as they were. She had called their marriage a mockery and he winced at the accuracy of the statement, he who held marriage as the most sacred of unions had made a mockery of it.
He owed Alexandria better than she had received since she arrived. She diligently cared for his daughter day in and day out and all she had received in return was heartache and his short temper. How did he pretend something that wasn’t there and what if he pretended it was only to find he really did feel more? He didn’t want to feel more. Martha was the only woman he had ever loved or looked at in that way.
Elijah closed his eyes and recalled Martha’s image, her white blonde curls framing her petite, heart shaped face, her soft womanliness nestled next to him night after night; he could almost feel the warmth of her now. Martha had been so small, so dainty in her femininity; completely opposite of Alexandria. That had, in fact, contributed in his choosing her.
He was aware that Alexandria was a very beautiful woman in her own right. That hadn’t been why he had chosen her, however. He had seen the steel back bone in her willowy figure and had known that she would make a good rancher’s wife. He had seen her common sense and no nonsense approach with Lilly. Practical summed up what he had seen. What he hadn’t taken the time to see, hadn’t wanted to see, was the sensitive heart below the tough veneer. Nor had he allowed himself to see her girlish dreams of a blissful marriage. Elijah sighed and laid his head back against his seat. How was he ever going to fix this mess?
Alexandria lay in her bed, her thoughts in turmoil. What had Elijah wanted to say? Did he really want to establish a relationship with her? What kind of a relationship? That of a real husband and wife? Did she even want that anymore? She was a coward; she should have heard him out, regardless how painful his words might have proven. She should march back down the stairs and hash this out right now! She didn’t. She lay there for what felt like hours, her thoughts chasing themselves like a puppy after its own tail. She heard Elijah’s bedroom door open and close and she knew he had at last gone to bed. Still she lay awake, her thoughts taunting her.
Alexandria finally tossed aside her covers in frustration and without bothering with her dressing gown, slipped into the moonlit hallway, down the stairs, and into the dark kitchen. After lighting a lamp, she