time for yourself.
Deep down, Debbie knew Sam was right. Plus, if she took time for herself this one time, maybe she wouldn’t be so resentful about taking on all of the additional catering jobs that Libby had committed them to. It would be okay. Sam and Libby had everything under control. Besides, the group she belonged to only met once a month, and was composed of other cancer survivors, like herself. They didn’t just spend their meetings chatting, but also making hats to donate to chemotherapy patients at the local hospital. So, this wasn’t an entirely selfish thing she was going to do.
She got out of the car and went around to the passenger side to remove the massive bag of knitting supplies, making sure everything was tucked in so it wouldn’t fall out during the short trip into the center. Although she wouldn’t need all of these materials for the two hour-long meeting, there had been too many times where she’d regretted not bringing a certain color of yarn or size of needle. It was always better to be overprepared.
When she pushed open the door of their usual meeting room, all five of the women seated at the table looked up and waved at her.
Shelby Dawes jumped out of her chair to greet her. “Debbie! I’m so glad you came. We’ve missed you.” She gave Debbie a huge hug that brought tears of happiness to Debbie’s eyes. It had been months, and she hadn’t realized how sad it made her to not see her friends more regularly.
“I’ve missed all of you too.” Debbie took her seat around the rectangular table and tucked her knitting bag under her chair. “I can’t believe how long it’s been. How are all of you?” Their membership fluctuated as people went through different stages of life, but there were normally around seven to eight people in attendance every month.
“I’m doing great,” said a woman in her thirties with short blonde hair. “My latest scan came back clean.”
“I’m so happy for you.” Debbie smiled warmly at her. “It’s so nerve-wracking to wait for the results of those.” She’d had a clean scan last April after being done with chemotherapy for a year, and it had been a huge relief for her whole family.
“My son is getting married,” said another woman. “They’ve been living together for so long, we all wondered if it would ever happen.”
“Congratulations.” Debbie meant it, but her friend’s news caused her a pang of envy. She’d been looking forward to Samantha’s wedding and welcoming Brant into their family. Now the possibility of more grandchildren was a far-off prospect.
Debbie pulled out her knitting project and they all gabbed about friends and family members, needles clicking rhythmically as they stitched new rows on their hats. By the end of the meeting, she felt refreshed. It had been wonderful to connect with old friends and make a few new ones in the process. But someone she’d hoped to see hadn’t shown up.
“Hey, do you know if Diana will be here next month? Has she been coming to the meetings?” Debbie asked. She and Diana had been chemo buddies, undergoing treatments at the same time and commiserating about all of the side effects over strawberry milkshakes at their favorite diner.
The women exchanged troubled glances, and even before they said something, a sinking feeling came over her. Her fingers ceased moving mid-stitch.
“Debbie, I’m sorry,” Shelby said softly. “I thought you knew. Diana died a little over a month ago.”
Debbie’s head spun, her thoughts like loose pieces of string that wouldn’t wind together. “No, I didn’t know.” Her stomach tightened as she asked, “How did it happen?”
“Her cancer came back and there wasn’t anything they could do about it.” Shelby’s eyes held a heavy sadness. “Her family had a small memorial service for her back in July.”
“Oh. I wish I’d known.” Debbie stared at the stainless-steel knitting needles in her lap. If she concentrated on the hat, she wouldn’t have to think about Diana. She resumed knitting, focusing on the way the multicolored yarn wove together to form a thick, warm layer that would keep a cancer patient’s head warm during the colder months.
After about ten more minutes, the other women put away their projects and said their goodbyes, but Debbie didn’t move from her spot.
“Are you okay?” Shelby stood next to Debbie, her bag slung over her shoulder. “I’m really sorry about Diana. I know you were good friends. I should have called you about her memorial