the first place?”
He removed his fedora and ran a hand back through his hair, mussing the ’60s style. “I just wanted to know the truth.”
“From a con artist?” I asked with wide, disbelieving eyes. “You thought someone who literally lied about who she was and stole millions from banks across the world was going to give you a straight answer?”
“I hadn’t seen her since the arrest. I just… wanted to know why.”
I shook my head in frustration. “You want to know why? Why? Are you serious? Because you were an easy mark. That’s why.”
Court winced. He clearly didn’t like that I’d reduced his entire year-and-a-half relationship down to this. But that was the truth. He should have been able to handle it by now.
“She did it because she’s a con artist. She did it because she needed social proof. I’m not even a fucking con artist, Court, and I could tell you that Josh gave me social proof in Hollywood. I could see instantly how Jane, who was lying about her life, would need it. And she got it from you!”
“Yes, but…”
“But what?” I demanded. “None of this explains why you lied.”
“What did you want me to say, English? I needed to go see my ex-girlfriend to get closure? That I was nearly certain none of it had meant anything to her, but I wanted to know for sure. And guess what. I was right. None of it meant anything to her.”
My heart throbbed for him. The pain that must have caused.
But it didn’t excuse going to see her five days before the election. It didn’t excuse hiding it. It didn’t excuse anything.
“That must have been hard to hear. But you could have told me that. I told you when Josh showed up in my apartment. I turned my husband away, who I had been with for five years, and the first thing I did was come to see you.”
“I know but…”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. The manic laugh that erupted out of my chest. “I don’t want your buts. I don’t want your Upper East Side Court Kensington bullshit explanation for why you should get out of this. I once said that I’m not sorry for being the only person holding you accountable for your actions. That doesn’t stop today.” I swallowed back my own pain at the words. And the heartbreak in them. “You could have told me. You chose not to. And worse than all of that, Court, you just ruined everything.”
“Come on, it won’t be that bad,” he said optimistically.
“I spent the last six months making you the golden boy of the Upper East Side. I did everything in my power to distance you from Jane and the person you had been before, who gave her money. Now, five days before the election, you decided to go see Jane in prison. What the fuck do you think the headlines say?”
He didn’t answer. His face had gone pale.
“Collusion. That you’re helping her defense. That you were in on it all along. That you got away with it because of who your mother is.” I shook with anger. “Your mother’s reelection is in five days. Jane’s trial is in a month. This could not be worse timing.”
“Okay, I fucked up,” he said finally. “I just had to see her.”
“Do you still love her?” I asked, forcing the words past my teeth.
I didn’t want to know the answer. In some ways, it was unfair of me to ask. I still had feelings for Josh despite his bullshit. It would take time for them to go away. But we’d been married. We’d had a life together.
And suddenly, I was seeing the truth. How he’d been more worried about her well-being when she hadn’t taken the plea deal. He’d been stressed that she didn’t have the right representation. He’d wanted to help. The way he’d reacted when I suggested that he’d cheated on Jane. It was the only time I’d seen him so pissed off. He’d thrown me out because of it. And then the other day… I’d jokingly asked if he’d ever wanted to marry someone. He’d come back with one name—Jane.
I took a step back.
My stomach twisted.
He still loved her.
Was that… was that possible?
“Does it matter, English?” he begged me. “She’s in jail. She’s not going anywhere. And whatever we had wasn’t even real.”
“It was real to you,” I whispered.
Fuck, I’d fucked up.
My trust was so fragile. It always had been. Ever since my dad had cheated on