still stiff and wanting against me, pushing close, seeking out my heat, and I have the insane urge to fuck him, but I don’t.
Yet.
He freezes, his eyes confused for a moment as he seems to be drifting away. “I don’t know,” he mumbles with the hint of an accent on his raspy words, a cadence to them that tells me this isn’t his first language, and I want to know what is. I want to know this man, this vampire. Why? Is he yet another monster I’m calling to me like Nos proposed? Or is this a temporary feeling from the feeding?
I feel weird being wrapped around him now, so I drop to the floor and we both let out a whimper at the lost contact, making me freeze and stare at him...what is he to me? “You don’t know your name?” I ask.
He nods, his eyes going far away. “My mind...is fracturing from the lack of blood. I can’t remember some things, but others I can see in excruciating detail...like…” He sucks in a breath and I fall back with a cry, my hands going to my head which feels like it’s in a vice as images rip through it...memories that aren’t mine. They imprint there as I fall to my knees, tears falling unchecked down my face. I can feel my body, feel the sobs escaping me at the pain in those recollections, but I can’t stop it...it’s too much, too powerful…
“No, no,” I chant, then I scream as my head is ripped to the side and fangs sink into my neck. I kick and yell, fighting, but the creature is too strong. My gaze lands on my baby girl as my life is drained from me. When my eyes begin to close and the darkness takes hold, I send up a prayer that the next life will be kinder to me, that I don’t lose my love and fate is not as cruel…
Then nothing but darkness encompasses me. I swim in it like a sea, paddling in nothingness. I have no body, only a consciousness, just floating, merely existing. No pain or grief, nothing but warmth. I sink into it, accepting its welcoming embrace, but just as I do, I am ripped away.
I feel a jerk of a pain then the sensation of choking. I can’t open my eyes, but I know I’m not dead, yet I’m not alive. I’m still caught in the dark, but the pain, God, the pain. It races through me, burning everything away like lava through my veins. Erupting, destroying, and breaking, and in its path something new blooms, something darker...stronger...a monster.
I scream both in the dark and in reality, the sound inhuman, and then something cool hits my lips, dripping down my throat. I drink it down, swallowing again and again, feeling each drop hit my stomach like water putting out the blaze, and only when there is none left do I stop, the fire burning low, still there, never gone, but simply subdued...ready to return at any time.
A thirst.
“No!” comes a scream, and I’m thrown backwards from the memory, into my own head, my fingers on the cool, stone floor, my chest heaving as I suck in desperate breaths, my tears still falling as I look up slowly to meet his eyes.
They were his memories...of how he became a vampire.
“Wh-Who did that to you?” I whisper brokenly. I felt his pain, his utter grief. He wanted to die, welcomed it...had lost something so precious, but his own life, his own choice to die was ripped away from him and in its place he became this—a vampire controlled by thirst. God, the thirst. I couldn’t imagine it, it’s so much worse than mine, a pain unlike any I have ever felt, controlling him, guiding him. To fight that for so long…the strength he must have. I shake my head and wipe the tears away as I gaze at him.
I have seen the darkness in his mind. I know him. He thinks he doesn’t know himself, he has no name, no memory of his identity, but I know him. I do, right here and now, I know it. He’s mine, my destiny, meant to be here. Like I am meant to be. His human life was cruel, his vampire life not much better from what I can gather, but it led him here…
To me.
“You don’t want to see that, see what she made me.” He spits the word ‘she,’ his distaste clear.
“I