trust your judgment, and I’m sorry. But I’m not like any of those losers you’ve been with, and you damn well know it. You’re scared, and this whole thing is really starting to sound like a cop-out. You’re just running away.” He grabbed her shoulders and yanked her closer. “Well, let me be perfectly clear with you. I’m. Not. Going. To. Resent. You. Not ever. What am I going to have to do to make you believe me?”
“Take the job,” she whispered. “Sign with Debra Leadingham. She’s one of Kyle’s best agents, and she’s a wonderful woman. She’ll take care of you and negotiate a great deal. When you’re done with the work, if you still want me, call me then. But if you don’t, I’ll always wonder when you’re going to start hating me for ruining your career.”
His teeth ground together so hard it hurt. “This kind of work can take years. You’re saying you want me to stay away from you for years?” Just the thought gave him chest pains. “No. I won’t do it.”
She pulled away from him. “You don’t have a choice. I’m sorry, Jackson. This is the way it has to be. I’d wish you good luck, but you’re not going to need it. Your score is going to be brilliant.”
And with that, she picked up her suitcase and left him standing there, alone in their hotel room, staring like a fucking idiot at the door she closed behind her.
What the fuck was he going to do now?
Chapter 31
Treating depression while he was an addict had been way easier than treating depression now that he was sober.
So, instead of wallowing in despair in a vat of vodka and cocaine, Jackson was lying on his back in the middle of Howard Hugh’s pen, well after midnight, wearing sweat pants he couldn’t remember changing in several days.
He was also intermittently eating a roll of cookie dough (Not the edible kind, either. The kind that could give you Salmonella, because why the fuck not at this point?) and one-handedly plucking random, melancholy notes on the guitar that was splayed across his chest.
In other words, if pathetic had a poster child, it would be Jackson Hale.
“Howard, I get why you’re a loner, man. Less chance of getting hurt and ending up on your back in a dog pen wearing last week’s clothes, eating shit that can kill you.”
He took another huge bite of cookie dough, because fuck you, fate!
“Oh, holy filet o’fuck mignon, I was expecting you to be a mess, but this is just…wrong.”
Jackson closed his eyes on a world-weary sigh. “Go away, Ray. I’m not in the mood for a heart-to-heart.”
“No shit,” Ray muttered. “You’re too busy grieving like a fifteen-year-old girl who just learned her crush asked someone else to the big dance.”
Jackson glanced over at his brother, who had the nerve to stand there all tall, clean-cut, and perfectly put together. Not at all heartbroken. Bastard. “Fuck off. It’s not like I can get drunk like a normal person.”
“Some people work through their pain instead of sleeping in a dog kennel,” Ray said, wrinkling his nose.
He scoffed. “I didn’t sleep out here.”
Today at least. Yesterday…well, he just nodded off for a minute, OK?
Ray sighed. “I just came out here to tell you that I’m heading back to LA. I need to check in on Kenny. Are you going to be OK, or are you going to lay out here until the elements—or diabetes—kills you?”
Jackson frowned. “Your empathy is truly remarkable. But I’ll live. Go check on Kendall.”
The only thing that hurt more than his stupid heart and pride at this moment was the fear that she might be hurting. For all his sarcastic smugness, Ray was a good friend. If Jackson couldn’t take care of Kendall himself, Ray was the next best thing.
“Will you let me know how she’s doing?” he asked quietly.
Now it was Ray’s turn to let out a big sigh. “Yes, of course I will.” Then he raked his hands through his hair and growled. “This is so stupid! You two are so in love it’s disgusting, and you’re both being idiots. How is it possible that two people I love can be such dumbasses?”
“What the fuck did I do? I said I didn’t want the stupid job if it meant giving her up. She’s the one who left anyway.”
“And you let her.”
“She made it clear I had no choice.”
Ray cocked his head and gave him a hard look. “You’re Jackson-fucking-Hale. Against