Maybe my only chance, if everyone is right about Simon.
Vas walks toward me and places his hands on my shoulders to slow me down. It works a little too well, and I collapse into his chest.
“Hold me,” I say, imitating Princess Leia.
I can feel Vas’s silent laughter against my head. He squeezes me tight. “It’s going to be okay. You have nothing to worry about. Plus,” he adds, “I’ll be with you the entire time.”
The stairs creak, and I look up from Vas’s chest to see Simon making his way toward us. I push off of Vas like I’ve been caught doing something I shouldn’t be doing, even though there are no rules about dating in the circus.
Simon must have seen us, but he doesn’t say a word.
Either he really doesn’t care, or gossip is not something he involves himself with.
“All right, you two.” He sits in the front row, arms draped casually over the seats next to him. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
Vas looks at one of the technicians at the back, who nods beside a wall of controls.
When it was just the two of us training, Vas would lift me onto the trapeze. But we need to show Simon how it would look to the audience, with all the lighting and mechanics.
We need to show him every drop of magic we have to make this work.
I close my eyes and breathe.
The music starts, and Vas and I stand at opposite ends of the room. We walk backward toward the lowered trapeze, like mirror images of each other, stopping before our bodies touch. We reach up, our grips tight on the bar, and it lifts us into the air.
I can feel Vas behind me, moving when I move in the opposite direction. I pull myself up slowly, legs pointed out to the side, holding the pose while the music builds. I take a seat on the bar, grabbing the ropes and rotating like a dancer in a music box, frozen and strong, and then my feet are on top of Vas’s, his body hanging below mine like a reflection in the water.
We are opposites, performing bird’s nests and meat hooks and splits on the ropes. And then our bodies become tangled, our faces straining to move away from each other. We hold each other’s weight, balance on each other’s limbs, swing each other from one move to the next, all the while feeling the fight of not belonging screaming through our movements.
Vas’s music fills the room, and I become so lost in the beautiful danger that is our act that I hardly feel like I’m in my body at all.
But I move when I’m supposed to. Feel Vas’s skin when I’m supposed to.
I do everything right.
We hold our last pose as the music finishes.
There’s a whisper of silence, and then Simon is on his feet, clapping with enthusiasm.
I’m sure I must be dreaming.
“I was not expecting that,” Simon says with a hearty laugh. “When you said she was good, I thought you were being polite.” He hops over the short wall and reaches us just as we push ourselves off the lowered trapeze. “It was magnificent.”
I’m too afraid to smile.
Vas is breathing heavily beside me, his hands on his hips and his neck glistening with sweat. I’m not the only one with their dreams riding on Simon’s decision.
Simon nods toward Vas. “And the music was excellent. Beautifully done, my friend.” He looks hungry-eyed at the trapeze, his gaze following the lights like he’s imagining a bigger picture. “Yes. Yes, I think this will do nicely.”
“You mean we get to perform?” I blurt out.
Vas looks almost confused, like this is all too easy. I am too afraid to hope, but too hopeful to doubt.
I squeeze my hands together, desperately waiting for his answer.
Simon smiles and throws his hands up. “I love it. It’s perfect. I want you two ready to close the show starting next Thursday.”
“What?” Vas asks with a gaping mouth.
“Oh my God,” I say at the same time.
“No point waiting for January when you both clearly have an act that’s ready to go.” Simon claps us both on the shoulders and winks. “Well done, you two.” And then he’s turning for the door and calling over his shoulder, “I’ll ask Betty about getting you both costumes made. Make sure you stop by there before lunch to get your measurements taken.”
And then he’s gone, and even though I know there are techies in the back who helped