feed off sex."
"Yeah," I said, still hostile.
"Human servants gain some of their master's abilities, that's normal. You should have gained the ability to help Jean-Claude feed his hungers, but your feeding on lust isn't an extra for his energy, it's a necessity for you. I heard what happened the night you tried to stop feeding it. You almost killed Damian, and Nathaniel, and yourself. Remus thinks you would have died if you hadn't fed the ardeur. If you hadn't fucked someone, he really thinks you might have died."
"Isn't it nice that he shared with everybody," I said.
"You can be all defensive about it if you want, but it's weird as hell. Rafael can't find anyone who's ever heard of a human servant gaining a hunger or thirst like this."
"And how weird my life has become is your business, why?"
"Because you're asking me and my people to risk our lives to keep you safe, that's why."
I gave him unfriendly face because I couldn't argue with his logic. I had gotten two of the wererats killed in the last couple of years. Killed guarding me. I guess he had a right to be pissy.
"It's your job," Nathaniel said. "If you don't like it, ask your king to change your job description."
"Rafael would take me off duty if I asked, you're right on that."
"Then ask," Nathaniel said.
Lisandro shook his head. "That's not my point."
"If you have a point, make it," I said, and let him hear the impatience in my voice.
"Fine, you're some sort of living vampire. A master vampire, because you gained a vampire servant in Damian, and an animal to call in Nathaniel."
"You're not telling me anything I don't already know, Lisandro."
"Jean-Claude chose you as his human servant. He chose one of the most powerful necromancers to come along in centuries. It was a good move to pick you. His animal to call is the head of the local werewolf pack. Richard may have his problems, but he's powerful. Again, a good choice. You both help Jean-Claude's power base. You both help him be stronger." He motioned at Nathaniel. "I like Nathaniel. He's a good kid, but he's not powerful. He gained more from you than you gained from him. The same with Damian. He's a vampire over a thousand years old, and he's never going to be a master anything."
"Have you reached your point?" I asked.
"Almost."
"You know, this is the most I've ever heard you talk at one time," I said.
"We all agreed that whoever had a chance to ask should talk to you."
"Who's we?"
"Me and some of the other guards."
"Fine, what's your point?"
"Did you have a choice about Nathaniel and Damian?" he asked.
"Do you mean, could I have chosen another wereleopard, another vampire?"
"Yes."
"No."
"Why no?" Lisandro asked.
"One, none of us had any idea that this could happen. Like you said, human servants don't gain powers like this. Two, I don't have the control over my metaphysics that Jean-Claude has. Most vamps who gain a human servant or animal to call don't do that until they've got a few decades, or centuries, under their belt. I got thrown into the deep end of the pool without a life preserver. I grabbed who the power threw at me." I patted Nathaniel's leg. "I'm happy with the choices, but I didn't know I was choosing when it happened."
Nathaniel hugged me one-armed. "We were all surprised."
"But you have more control of it now," Lisandro said, "and you know what's happening."
"I've got more control, yes, but as to what's happening... pick a topic."
"Somehow you've got three or four different kinds of lycanthropy inside you. But you haven't shifted into any of them."
"Yeah, so?"
"But you're starting to be attracted to the different animals, the way you were to the wolves and the leopards. I'm just saying that if you pick a new animal, can't it be someone powerful, instead of weak? Why can't you choose someone who will help you power up, instead of hurting you?"
Nathaniel shifted beside me.
"Nathaniel doesn't hurt me," I said, but part of me was thinking about our fight earlier. There was room to get hurt, but not the kind of hurt that Lisandro meant.
"He doesn't help you either, not the way Richard helps Jean-Claude."
I could have argued that part. Richard was so conflicted about what he was, and what he wanted out of life, that he crippled the triumvirate among the three of us, but if Lisandro didn't realize how reluctant a partner Richard was, then I wasn't going to share