at the front desk and a key to the apartment just in case I run late.”
A card and key feel like the trust that I so want to deserve. We say our good-byes and my mind lands on the moment at lunch when Maggie cornered me about my parents dying in a plane crash and I decide that lie is the one that is going to make me crash and burn. Shane’s words replay in my head. The light in my storm of betrayal. The idea that the lies forced on me by another could make him believe I’m a part of that storm, twists me in knots. I have to tell Shane that I lied to Human Resources and his mother before she says something and he finds out from her. If only I could safely tell him everything.
I leave work at five o’clock, a luxury I am certain I wouldn’t have if Shane’s father wasn’t out today, and make my way to the pharmacy, where I buy a phone and hair color. As soon as I get home, I text Kevin with my new number, but of course get no reply. By seven, I’ve colored my hair and I’m drying it, chasing my lies, and looking for solutions. By seven forty-five, I’ve dressed in my only pair of jeans, a slim-cut dark denim, and a light blue V-neck tee, wearing tennis shoes, because I have nothing else but heels. Come eight o’clock, I’m pacing my small apartment waiting on the car Shane’s sending for me, and I’ve come to the conclusion I don’t want to have. I want to tell Shane the truth, I do, but it’s selfish and wrong. Once he knows, that’s it, and that comes with a burden he doesn’t deserve or need, not with all the hell he has going on. If he stays close to me, he will find out, and that leaves only one option. We can’t see each other anymore.
There is a knock on the door and I glance out of the window to find a man in a suit and a black sedan idling nearby. A few minutes later, I’m at the Four Seasons, traveling the elevator up to Shane’s suite, a small overnight bag on my shoulder. At Shane’s door I knock but he doesn’t answer, and the fact that he trusts me here alone only drives home why I have to be strong tonight. We have to stop seeing each other. I unlock the door and enter, setting my bag and purse on the coatrack by the door.
I pass the kitchen and glance up the stairs at the bedroom, wondering, Can I really walk away if I make it up those stairs again? But how do I miss one last night with Shane? Tormented, I walk through the living room and realize the patio door is open. Inhaling, I move forward to hear Shane’s voice.
“What exactly are you suggesting, Eric?” Shane demands.
“I’m not suggesting anything,” comes a male voice I assume to be Eric. “I’m telling you what my patient told my nurses. And not just any patient. The wife of a professional baseball player who says he’s using performance-enhancing drugs he gets packaged as something else from your company.”
I catch myself on the edge of the bar from the impact of Shane being involved with more than just a family war. This is criminal, and it’s everything I’ve tried to fight and escape in my life.
“Let me get this straight,” Shane says. “The soon-to-be ex-wife says this drug my company is selling off-label can’t be detected in blood tests?”
“That’s what she claims,” Eric says.
“This is the athlete that is paying for the plastic surgery you’re doing on his soon-to-be ex-wife.”
“Correct.”
“This has dirty divorce settlement written all over it,” Shane replies.
“Shane, man,” Eric says. “I want that to be truth, but she swears that ballplayer who died last month of an unexplained heart attack was using it too.”
“This isn’t happening at Brandon Pharmaceuticals,” Shane insists.
“I hope not, man,” Eric says. “Look. We went to school together. We grew up together. I know you wouldn’t do this, but your family is another story.”
Shane brushes past that comment. “I need everything you can give me on this woman.”
“You know I can’t give you that.”
“Of course you can’t. I’ll figure it out, but I need you to keep me in the loop.”
“I will.”
It’s then I realize the conversation is ending and I’m standing here listening. I turn and rush for the