each second passes, my heart beats a little harder. I hear him swallow before sighing. “She’s . . . gone, Natalie.”
Nolan clears his throat but mine dries out as I stare at my carpet. She’s gone? Meaning she’s dead? No wonder it’s taken him so long to talk to me. He’s been grieving over his loss. “Oh, Nolan, I’m so sorry.” I grip the edge of the bed with my free hand. I know he’s hurt. If only I was with him. I would hold onto him and make him feel like he’s not alone. This shouldn’t be happening to him. He doesn’t deserve it.
“Don’t worry about it,” he mutters. “I just thought I’d let you know.” The line is silent again and I refuse to speak. I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know what to say. I had my speech all planned out for when he would call and tell me his mother had actually made it but hearing this makes me want to zip my lips for the rest of my life. “I’m going to be working a double shift tomorrow and Saturday. I might need some time to myself for a few days.”
My heart slams against my rib cage. “Y-you mean like a break?”
“No.” His voice is abrupt. “Just . . . space, Natalie. I won’t feel right talking on the phone with you when I have nothing to say. It’s going to be kind of hard to come up with conversations—especially while I’m still living in this house. I just need time.”
“Do you want me to come visit you?” I ask. After I ask I want to slap myself. He’s just said he wants space.
Instead of slapping myself I wait on him to respond. I can hear shuffling in the background so he must be doing something but he’s making me nervous. I’ve never heard him this quiet over the phone since he’s been gone. “If you could, it would probably make it a lot easier on me. You can help me plan the funeral and everything else that needs organizing since Mills refuses to. I’ll call my aunt and ask her for some help as well.” I gulp, nodding. He sounds terrible and as his girlfriend I feel like shit for not being there with him. I can’t imagine the pain of losing both parents at the age of twenty-one.
“I’ll book a flight soon,” I say. “I can come see you and help you with whatever, Nolan. Are you going to be okay until I figure out a date?”
“I’ll be fine, Bunny,” he sighs. As he says it, my heart flutters. At least he thinks of me the same. “Let me know when your flight is in order, okay?”
I nod as if he can see me. “Okay. I love you, Nolan.”
“Love you too, Natalie.”
Before I can question his bland tone or even why he didn’t say “I love you” like usual, he’s hung up and my lips have sealed. As I pull my phone away from my sweaty ear, a terrifying thought comes to mind. How can I actually make him feel better when I don’t know how it feels to lose someone close to me?
The distance was already in the way but to have this road block is definitely going to cause problems. I wanted everything to go smoothly so he could come back to Miami but I don’t think that will be the case anymore.
A knock comes from the door, interrupting my bothersome thoughts. “Nat?” Harp calls from behind it.
“Yeah?”
“Can I come in?”
I sigh. “Yeah.”
She steps in quickly and as I look up, I spot the sorrow draining her features. “I’m sorry for eavesdropping and being nosey. I swear,” she whispers, stepping forward with twisted fingers.
“It’s fine, Harp. I’d rather you know so I won’t have to repeat it.”
Nodding, she sits beside me and the bed sinks beneath her weight. “If you want, I can book your flight tonight. My dad sent me extra money this morning and I was only going to use it to shop.”
I look up at her and she smiles softly. “Really? That’d be great, Harp.”
“What are best friends for? Seems like he needs you now more than ever, anyway.”
“Yeah. I could feel his depression.” I draw my legs in and pull them against my chest. “I just . . . I feel so awful for him. I don’t know what I’ll say when I actually end up seeing him.”
“Well hopefully he doesn’t change his attitude towards