As soon as he was gone, I happened to inhale and scramble to my feet. I was left in the dark, alone. Terrified. Confused. I raced in the direction he had taken off in and searched for him everywhere, but I couldn’t find him, no matter how hard I’d looked.
I couldn’t figure out why he had walked away from me. It was a dream that had turned into a nightmare and it seemed to carry on and get worse, even after I had stopped searching for him.
I tossed and turned all night because the nightmare felt all too real. At the end of the nightmare I had finally found Nolan but we had ended up breaking it off. After four months, I didn’t want it to end but it did. I begged on my knees for him not to leave me. I couldn’t figure out what I had done but he kept blaming himself. I wanted to help as much as I could but he continued to walk away—he continued to carry on as if I didn’t even matter anymore. He kept blocking me out and avoiding me when all I wanted was to have him close.
All I wanted was my Nolan back.
****
Waking up in cold sweat, I run the back of my hand across my forehead as the thick slits of moonlight shine through my thin white curtains. I swallow the heavy lump in my throat as I stare ahead until I feel stable enough to swing my legs around and drop my feet on the floor.
The first thing I check is my phone. I know it’s around four in the morning and Nolan told me earlier he was at the hospital for his mother’s surgery. I shot him a few text messages a while ago but he hasn’t sent one back. I’m starting to worry about him and I’m hoping the surgery went well. Hopefully he’s just by his mother’s side, wanting no distractions. I can cope with that.
She was supposed to be done more than ten hours ago, though. He would have called me if everything were okay.
I’m hoping my nightmare doesn’t become my reality because losing Nolan is like losing everything. I don’t think I can deal with another heartbreak or even the depression again.
All I can do is hope for the best.
Chapter Two
Nolan
The wait has been endless. It’s the evening of my mother’s surgery but by the passing hours and the looks of things as the nurses rush up and down the hallway, I know something’s gone wrong.
Mills left before nightfall because he couldn’t bear with it. She’s been in there all day. I was told she would be done by six but it’s now nine at night and I still haven’t been updated on how she’s doing. It reminds me of the time when my father was in the hospital. Since then I’ve hated being anywhere near one but I don’t want to leave until I know for sure that she's alright.
After a few hours, my head tilts back and my eyelids become heavy but I force myself to stay awake. I take a glance down at my phone as it vibrates and a text message pops up.
Bunny: Is everything alright?
Reading her message makes me cringe inside. I can’t answer because I don’t know and I don’t want to give her a bullshit reply that may get my hopes up. I don’t know if my mother is going to recover from the surgery. I don’t know anything right now.
As I shut the screen off, an older man with mussed grey hair comes into view from around the corner. As soon as he spots me, his gaze saddens. I stand quickly, watching as the familiar doctor carries himself forward with slow strides.
“I’m hoping you have good news,” I sigh.
He swallows, his Adams-apple moving down and then up beneath the blue fabric he’s wearing. “Mrs. Iris was doing fine in the beginning. Everything was running smoothly and she was breathing . . . but then she just . . . stopped.”
I stare at him, wide-eyed as my heart pauses before reaching the next beat. “Did um . . .” I shake my head and fight myself to get the words out. “Did she pull through?”
He swallows again. Placing a hand on my shoulder, he leans forward and blinks rapidly. “I’m sorry, but she didn’t. There was a high risk and the lung surgery failed, Mr. Young.”