and pulled me to him, his fingers lightly brushing my neck. "You're running up a bill. I assume you'll tell me when you're ready to settle your account."
"Sure. Absolutely. You'll be the first to know." God, I was being such a dork!
Ranger grinned down at me. "You have cuffs, right?"
Ulk. "Actually, no. I'm currently cuffless."
"How are you going to catch the bad guys if you haven't got cuffs?"
"It's a problem."
"I have cuffs," Ranger said, touching his knee to mine.
My heart was up to about two hundred beats per minute. I wasn't exactly a handcuff-me-to-the-bed kind of person. I was more a turn-out-all-the-lights-and-hope-for-the-best kind of person. "I think I'm hyperventilating," I said. "If I pass out just hold a paper bag over my nose and mouth."
"Babe," Ranger said, "it's not the end of the world to sleep with me."
"There are issues."
He raised an eyebrow. "Issues?"
"Well, actually, relationships."
"Are you in a relationship?" Ranger asked.
"No. Are you?"
"My lifestyle doesn't lend itself to relationships."
"Do you know what we need? Wine."
He released my jacket collar and followed me into the kitchen. He lounged against the counter while I took two wineglasses from the cupboard and grabbed the bottle of merlot that I'd just bought. I poured out two glasses, gave one to Ranger, and kept one for myself.
"Cheers," I said. And I chugged the wine.
Ranger took a sip. "Feel better?"
"I'm getting there. I hardly feel like fainting anymore. And most of the nausea is gone." I refilled my glass and carted the bottle into the living room. "So," I said, "would you like to watch television?"
He picked the remote off the coffee table and relaxed into the couch. "Let me know when you're nausea-free."
"I think it was the handcuff thing that pushed me over the edge."
"I'm disappointed. I thought it was the idea of me naked." He searched through the sports and settled on basketball. "Are you okay with basketball? Or would you rather I search for a violent movie?"
"Basketball is good."
Okay, I know I was the one who suggested television, but now that I had Ranger on my couch it felt too weird. He had his dark hair slicked back into a ponytail. He was dressed in SWAT blacks, fully loaded gun belt removed but a nine-millimeter at the small of his back, Navy SEAL watch on his wrist. And he was slouched on my couch, watching basketball.
I noticed my wineglass was empty, and I poured myself a third glass.
"This feels odd," I said. "Do you watch basketball in the Bat Cave?"
"I don't have a lot of free time for television."
"But the Bat Cave has a television?"
"Yeah, the Bat Cave has a television."
"Just curious," I said.
He drank some wine, and he watched me. He was different from Morelli. Morelli was a tightly coiled spring. I was always aware of contained energy with Morelli. Ranger was a cat. Quiet. Every muscle relaxed on command. Probably did yoga. Might not be human.
"Now what are you thinking?" he asked.
"I was wondering if you were human."
"What are the other choices?"
I knocked back my glass of wine. "I didn't have anything else specifically in mind."
I WOKE UP with a headache and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. I was on my couch, tucked under the quilt from my bed. The television was silent, and Ranger was gone. From what I could remember, I'd seen about five minutes of basketball before falling asleep. I'm a cheap drunk. Two and a half glasses of wine and I'm comatose.
I stood under a hot shower until I was pruney and the throbbing behind my eyes had partially subsided. I got dressed and made tracks to McDonald's. I got a large fries and a Coke at the drive-thru and ate in the parking lot. This is the Stephanie Plum cure for a hangover. My cell phone rang when I was halfway through with the fries.
"Did you hear about the fire?" Grandma asked. "Do you know anything about it?"
"What fire?"
"Steven Soder's bar burned to the ground last night. Technically, I guess it burned this morning, since it was after closing when it caught fire. Lorraine Zupek just called. Her grandson is a firefighter, you know. He told her they had every truck in the city there but there wasn't anything they could do. I guess they're thinking it might have been arson."
"Was anyone hurt?"
"Lorraine didn't say."
I shoved a handful of fries into my mouth and cranked the engine over. I wanted to see the fire scene. I'm not sure why. Ghoulish curiosity,