moving in it. The clank of what sounds like chains and a slithering sound fills the air, as does a pained grunt of what I can only imagine is an animal.
I see a flash of something green and big before the darkness swallows it again. I don’t know which way is up or down, and have to rely on sound alone to guide me.
But out of that dark comes a deep, guttural voice, speaking random, indiscernible words. The syllables he speaks are disjointed. None of it makes sense, scrambling around in my head, but I can feel the pain in them.
The desolation.
It’s consuming, the thoughts and words jagged with it. Broken.
Oh God, the utter pain in those words…I want to scream at them.
Suddenly, they stop, and I know somehow they—no, he, heard me. It’s a he, I know it, can sense it.
“Show yourself!” he roars into the dark, the force of it making me wince and shiver. There is so much pain, so much anger held in that voice, it makes me want to cry. “Bakkar, is that you?” he whispers brokenly. “No, no, no one here.”
I see a flash of Sev’s and Dev’s faces, but they are younger, and fear contorts them before it quickly disappears.
“No, not my elons either. Alone, all alone. Not them…they are gone.”
More images fill my mind, of Sev and Dev fighting terrifying aliens, of them turning to look at me with understanding.
Dev stares at me, and I realise I’m not Harlow, I’m inside the mind of someone else. “Takkar!” he screams, fighting to get to me before it suddenly changes to a different vision of them.
Of them running as we watch…of them leaving.
Shooting into space.
Bone crushing loneliness fills the darkness, followed by such despair, I can barely breathe.
Alone…always alone.
I watch another alien fall as I catch him in my arms, the pain consuming me, such pain, I struggle to inhale, like my heart is being ripped from my chest.
The agony filling the dark increases as the alien roars in anguish. The sound brims with crushing pain, as if his very flesh is being pulled from his skin, making me scream alongside him.
His tormented misery flows through me, becomes me.
Ragged screams burst from my throat in sync with his. The bone-deep agony pulls more and more howls from my throat until, suddenly, I’m jerked awake.
I blink, my throat sore and lips still parted on a scream. My nails are digging into something hard, and when I look down, I find them against Dev’s chest, his wide eyes watching me worriedly. Sev is behind him, since both are unable to fit in my den, with Dev crouched before me. He slowly reaches out and brushes some sweaty hair behind my ear.
Harlow, bad dream?
I nod, and his lips dip into a frown as he leans in and kisses me softly. Sleep if you can, little one, I will keep watch. No bad dreams will touch you again with me here.
Are you okay? Sev asks with concern.
I’m fine, sorry to wake you, I mumble in shame.
Never be sorry for needing us, he replies fiercely. Dev is right, sleep if you can, we will be right here.
Dev helps me back into the furs, covering me up and tucking me in before brushing another kiss across my forehead. Turning, they perch next to Kitty, guarding the entrance to my den, their blades drawn and ready.
Prepared to fight my memories and nightmares for me…if only they could.
But my eyes shut once more, even as I try to stop them, not wanting to face that pain again, but just like Dev said…the nightmares don’t come back with them there.
But that agonised roar is still echoing through my head.
The next few days pass in a blur. I don’t see the strange alien in my dreams again. Is that what it was, just a dream? But how could it have been? It felt so real, and the pain followed me into consciousness.
And he knew the twins…didn’t he? I know I saw them through his eyes, fighting some epic battle they couldn’t hope to win. Maybe I’m projecting?
It—it just felt so real. Even now, my heart pounds and almost splinters as I think about him. A strange ache takes up in my stomach for the unknown, dream alien.
I want to help him, save him…but how can I when I don’t even know if it’s not just my memories?
Yes, that could be it. My mind is creating this new place in my dreams, distorting my suffering