to be for you to stay with your mother and I somehow can’t see her in the role of nurse.’ ‘I don’t need a nurse.’
‘No, but you need someone who will restrain your impulses to overexert yourself. I was thinking when we interview for the nanny maybe it would be an idea to make some enquiries about a maternity nurse at the same time. I understand that they move in for the last weeks of the pregnancy, as well, obviously, as afterwards.’
‘Will she have the baby for me, too?’
Baffled by the sarcasm in her voice and the annoyance in the eyes raised to his, Francesco shook his head. ‘Is there a problem?’
‘When did I say I wanted a nanny?’
‘Well, obviously I assumed—’
She lifted her chin. ‘Well, you assumed wrong. I don’t want a nanny and as for a maternity nurse—it’s a stupid idea.’ ‘You’re being totally irrational.’
‘If you even whisper the word hormone I’ll strangle you,’ she promised. ‘There is nothing irrational about not wanting to farm your kid off to someone else.’
‘A nanny isn’t there to replace you, she’s there to free up your time so that you can do other things.’
‘What—like pander to your needs? Millions of other women cope without a nanny and so will I.’
‘What if you’re too exhausted by being awake nights to enjoy your baby?’ He read the total intransigence in her face and threw up his hands in a very Latin gesture of exasperation. ‘You’ll change your mind in the end.’
She swallowed her irritation at the smug prediction. She didn’t want to argue. A few days ago she had feared she was going to lose their baby—it seemed ridiculous to be squabbling now about something that, in the great scheme of things, was not terribly important.
‘Maybe you’re right—maybe I will change my mind,’ she said, thinking, In a pig’s eye! While she was prepared to stand her ground there was no point being confrontational now.
Francesco, not knowing that her maybe was of the when-hell-freezes-over variety, nodded his head in approval. ‘Well, it’s early days.’
‘Yes, it is,’ she agreed.
‘My parents are very anxious to finally meet you.’ ‘How is your mother?’
‘She spends a lot of time at Rafe’s grave. It’s hard,’ he admitted, ‘to know whether that is a good thing or not.’
‘The flowers she sent were beautiful and the phone call was very sweet. She must be anxious to see you.’
She looked at her belly. It was difficult to imagine that one day her baby would grow up and leave her.
‘Over the moon since she heard the news about the baby. As for seeing me, I think there is a little of the double-edged sword about that.’
Erin gave a baffled frown. ‘How do you mean?’
‘She cannot see me without being reminded of Rafe.’
Just as he was every time he caught sight of himself in a mirror! Not that Erin imagined for a second that he needed any reminder. She suspected that he would feel the loss of his twin for the rest of his life.
‘It’s strange. If Rafe hadn’t died, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me now. And—’ she looked down and gently massaged the gentle mound of her belly, which over the past week had become too pronounced to be hidden by loose clothes, ‘—there would be no baby.’
‘We might have met anyway,’ he suggested.
‘Possibly,’ she conceded. ‘But we’d never have married. The circumstances would have been different.’
You would have been different, she thought, looking at him. You wouldn’t have had a gaping big hole to fill.
‘A bit like that film … have you seen it? I forget the name. It’s all about one pivotal decision. You take one path and it’s happy ever after. You take the other and.’ She mimed a slashing motion across her throat.
As happy-ever-after paths did not usually include divorce and emergency surgery, Francesco assumed she considered she thought she had taken the latter.
‘Well, we are not living in a film, cara. We are living in the real world, a world where you are married to me, and I am the father of your child.’
The severity of his clipped delivery caused her smooth brow to furrow in bewilderment.
‘So you will just have to put your personal feelings about me to one side.’
This suggestion drew a shaky laugh from her. ‘God, but I wish it was that easy.’ That easy to stop loving him so much it hurt.
When Erin glanced up from her brooding contemplation of her interlocked fingers she was startled by the suppressed pain in