kind of funny when you think about it.”
I frown, not really understanding. “Bear is important?”
“Very,” he says. “Not sure I’d be telling you this story if he wasn’t by my side.”
“Well I like Bear already,” I say, and he smiles.
“He’d have chased off that racoon the other night. He’d done it many times, but he certainly learned the hard way to steer clear of skunks and porcupines.”
I crinkle up my nose. “Oh no.”
His lips twitch at the corner and he looks off in the distance, like he’s remembering happy times. I watch him for a second, and put my hand on his arm. My touch brings him back to me.
“Yeah, so I went fishing that morning while Dad slept.” He holds his hands out about twelve inches. “I waded out in the water and reeled in one hell of a big one.”
“That big, huh?” He nods. “Your father must have been impressed by that.”
“He would have been, I think, if...” I frown, and his brows knit together. He shifts, some memory making him uncomfortable. “Anyway, I was excited, and after I cleaned the fish on shore, ready to rush back here to show Dad, a big motherfucking bear decided he wanted to fight me for the fish.”
“Oh my God, Tyler,” I say and sit up. I cross my legs, my heart pounding. “What happened?”
He shakes his head and a hard tremble moves through him. “The thing went up on its hind legs, and Bear—my dog—got in between us. He barked and barked and barked until it woke up Dad. He came running with a shot gun, and after firing a few shots into the air, the black bear ran off.”
“Thank God.”
“You’d think, right?” He reaches for me and drags me back to him, and I rest my face on his chest. “That day I realized I’d rather face off against a bear than my father.”
“What happened?” I ask quietly.
“I had never seen my father so mad. Well, that’s not true. I’d seen him tear both Sean and Jamie new ones. I’d just never been the sole focus of his anger before that. I was fucking scared, Haven.”
“Of course you were scared. You were just a little boy who’d faced off against a black bear. That’s the thing nightmares were made of.”
“Nope, being the recipient of my father’s rage was the thing nightmares were made of. When you’re ten years old and two seconds from getting mauled by a goddamn black bear, I think that’s a pretty good time to show fear, and shed a few fucking tears, don’t you?”
“Of course.”
“My father found me shaken and trembling, but the worst part of that day, is how he left me broken and bruised. Not physically, but…” He touches his chest. “In here, you know.” The rawness in his voice, the crackling thickness cuts into me, and I could weep for the little boy left battered. “He took the fish and tossed it back in the water, called me a dumb-ass, clueless kid. He said I was soft, and said he’d never be taking me fishing again.” He swallows. “I tried to pretend it didn’t bother me. Tried to pretend I was tough, and his words meant nothing.” He shakes his head. “I wasn’t very good at pretending.”
“I’m so sorry, Ty,” I say and put my arms around him to hug him tight. We stay like that for a long time, and his chest rises and falls as he breathes through those painful memories. After a long time, I say, “What he did was wrong. So damn wrong. Believe me when I say this, I’m not taking your father’s side here, I promise, but as an outsider, I’m trying to look at it from his point of view and I wonder if he lashed out because he was scared, just like you. Scared his son was going to get hurt and said cruel things to keep you safe. You said you were always a little reckless. Maybe that really frightened him, and he said and did things to break you of that.”
He shrugs like he’s not sure. “When we got home, he told Mom, and I remember being embarrassed and ashamed by the whole thing.”
“You never should have been made to feel that way. That was wrong.”
His brow furrows. “Mom wanted to hug me, but Dad wouldn’t let her. He wouldn’t fucking let her, Haven.” He takes a gulping breath. “She wanted to so badly, and she fought so hard not to cry,