Half Lost (The Half Bad Trilogy #3) - Sally Green Page 0,40

windows, cement floor, brick walls. It’s gloomy but there’s light enough to see a figure kneeling in front of me. I walk up to her. Annalise. Her hands are tied. I take the Fairborn out of its sheath. And she looks me in the eyes and says, “I love you. You’re my prince. You saved me.” And the Fairborn is in my hands, wanting blood. And I don’t know what to do. Do I kill Annalise?

Blackness. Peace.

Am I alive or dead?

I hope I’m dead.

I’m cold. In the cell, not chained to the wall. I look for Annalise but she isn’t here. There’s a different figure kneeling on the floor. Soul. And now I see that kneeling next to him is Wallend and then I see Jessica and next to her a Hunter I don’t recognize and next to the Hunter another Hunter. There’s lots of Hunters. The cell is much bigger than I remember. I walk along the line of kneeling prisoners. They’re all dressed in black. All kneeling. Heads bowed. I have to kill them all. But the line is long, never- ending. The Fairborn is in my hand but I can’t do this with the Fairborn; I need a gun. Where’s a gun?

“I need a gun.”

“Shhhh, Nathan. Shhhh.”

“Give me a gun.”

“Shshsh. Rest.”

It’s black again. Maybe that means I’m dead. Good.

Peace.

I’m in the cell again. I don’t want to be back here. It’s cold. I don’t like it. The prisoners are all kneeling, hands tied behind their backs. I walk along the line of Hunters, hundreds of them, thousands, a never-ending line. But now I’ve got a gun in my hand. I go back to the first Hunter and shoot her in the back of the head. As her body falls, I press the barrel of the gun to the back of the next head. Squeeze. As I squeeze I say the word: “Die.”

“Die.”

“Die.”

“Shhhh, Nathan. It’s just a dream. Shhhh. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

And I want to cry. I want it to go black. “I don’t want to go back there.”

“Shhhh. You’re safe, Nathan.”

Gabriel. I want to tell him something but I’ve forgotten what. I try to move my arm but it’s so heavy.

“Rest, Nathan. Rest.”

I need to get moving. Do something. I need to go.

“Nathan. Rest. Try to be calm.”

I’m not dead. I wish I was dead. I don’t want to go back to that cell.

It’s dark. I look up and see the full moon.

“Gabriel?”

“I’m here.”

“Gabriel.”

“It’s OK. You’ve been ill. You’re getting better now.”

“Why can’t I heal?”

“You are healing, Nathan. Slowly. There was a lot of poison. A special bullet. Try to stay calm. Please.”

“I could . . .” I’m not sure what I could do. I’ve forgotten.

The sky is lighter now.

“Gabriel?”

“Yes, I’m here.” I feel his hand move a little; his fingers are intertwined with mine.

“Don’t leave me.”

He holds me, putting his hand gently on the side of my chest. His breath is on my neck and it’s good. He’s good.

“I mean, don’t leave me ever.”

“I know, Nathan. I won’t.”

“I wanted to die.”

He whispers, “Rest now. Rest.”

He stays close to me and his breathing by me is good.

And later I remember what I could do. It’s easy. I could kill them all.

Tired

I wake to see sky. Pale blue. Treetops. Arran’s face. He’s real. Not a dream. I’m not in a cell. I’ve not killed any Hunters. It was all just the poison, worse poison than when I was shot in Geneva, but just poison.

“Don’t try to move,” Arran says.

“Gabriel?”

“I’m here.” And he touches my hand. And then I realize I don’t have the strength to turn my head.

“You’re looking better,” Arran says. “How are you feeling?”

I think about it and say, “Better. Not great.” Even speaking is exhausting. “Tired.”

“I need to check this.” And Arran gently pulls back the bandage on my stomach. “It’s healing. Slowly. The bullet’s out of you but the poison is still in. You have to drive it out. You have to heal yourself. Can you do that?”

I concentrate on healing. Nothing happens.

“Not working,” I manage to mumble.

“It will work. You haven’t lost the ability; you’ve just used up all your energy. You need more rest, more time.”

Arran puts some cold gunk on my wounds, on my stomach and chest, and then a new set of bandages over the top. He says to Gabriel, “I’ll give him more of the potion tonight, to help him sleep. Try to keep him still.” And then to me he says, “You will heal, Nathan. But don’t

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