comes from his mouth is epic. Dean actually stops running, sets his hands on his thighs, and tries to stop laughing. When he looks at the phone again, he arches one brow. “In the span of two minutes, you’ve called me your boyfriend and said I need to wear your jersey?”
I shrug hopefully. “I’ll take one out of two?”
“You can have the first. I’m not doing the second.”
“Fine, be that way,” I tease. “Are you working today?”
“Yes, I need to deal with the books this afternoon. Then I’ll just be serving all night long.”
“Call me later. I’m going to hit the shower.”
“C’mon, take me into the shower,” Dean says as he resumes his pace.
“You say that like I’d even consider anything else,” I say, accepting his challenge as I angle the phone so he can see I sleep naked.
“Fitz,” he says in a warning.
“What?” I play dumb as I stroll into the bathroom, giving him a full view of my morning semi.
Dean swivels the phone screen, showing me the scenery behind and beside him. “Do you not realize I’m in the park?”
I shrug as I reach the shower, stretch my free hand in, and turn it on. “Doesn’t bother me.”
He shakes his head. “Nope. You’re mine. Just mine. No one else gets to see you naked. Boyfriend rules.”
That word. I love it. It’s a great word, but it doesn’t fit entirely right, and I’m not sure why. “Fair enough. But I will be getting off to you in the shower.”
He winks at me. “I know.” Then he slows down, bringing the phone closer to his face, maybe so no one can see me. “See you soon. Also, I fucking love you.”
I tell him the same, then I say goodbye, set the phone down, and step under the stream of water.
As I shower, I mull over the word boyfriend while my mind races back to that last evening in London at his flat, when we shared the shower and his things.
My brain rushes ahead to the next morning at his table, when he made me breakfast.
And how I felt something like déjà vu, but for the future. Forward vu.
Only then, the image was hazy, incomplete. Now, I can see that breakfast more clearly. I see it day after day after day.
And my heart goes wild, pounding madly against my chest.
The picture fills in, and I understand what I was already starting to want before I left London, before I even realized it.
I know now what I desperately want, and it’s not to count the days till I see him. It’s not for him to be my boyfriend. It’s not for me to call him later.
I rinse the soap off, turn off the shower, and grab a towel.
It’s not any of those things.
It’s to do for Dean what I’ve done for my family. Because that’s what you do when you love someone.
You don’t do things halfway.
You’re either all in, or you’re not.
First, I go to the airline website. Then, I text my buddies and cancel paintball. Next, I call Ransom. “I can’t work out today.”
“Cool. Everything okay?”
“Yes,” I say as I get dressed, pulling on clothes quickly. “I need to do something. I need to do it right now.”
“What is it?” There’s no teasing in his voice—I must sound as serious and determined as I feel.
I tell him my plan, and he lets loose another whoa. Then he says, “Clock’s ticking. You better go. Do you need a ride to the airport?”
I laugh. “I can get a Lyft, but I appreciate the offer.”
“Just sounded like fun. Are you sure?”
“You want to ride with me to the airport?”
“This is epic, so yes, I kind of do. I’m in Murray Hill, so I’m on the way. Also, there’s a pizza place out by LaGuardia that was just reviewed on Barstool Sports, and I wanted to check it out.”
“Of course you have an agenda.”
“I do, but your agenda is awesome-r.”
“Meet me in thirty minutes. I need to make a pit stop.”
After my errand, I call a Lyft and we pick up Ransom. On the way, I give him the rest of the details.
“Not gonna lie, I had a feeling you’d do this,” he says.
“You did?”
“You’re not happy like you used to be.” When we reach the airport, he says, “Go get your man.”
“That’s the goal.”
When he hops back in the car, he gives the driver the address of the pizza place, and I go to get on a plane.
45
Fitz
I’m five time zones away from where