built on it. I say this too often, I’m sure, but I have never lied to you. Perhaps it’s because there is none other with whom I could be so truthful.’ He came back to his desk, hands gripping tight to its edge without his apparent knowledge. ‘So then, why don’t you tell me about your friend Giles Scavian?’ He had tensed himself, ready for whatever she said, and she knew that to tell the truth would wound him, to lie to him would wound him more.
Could she deny her feelings for Scavian with a straight face? Could she make him nothing but a comrade-in-arms? Could she lie to Cristan Northway, so that he would not know it?
God forgive me. For, after all this time, she knew that she owed this man the truth. She had been living her two separate lives, thinking that a single shot would end both of them soon enough, and now they had come together, tangled like old ribbon. Giles, forgive me.
‘More than a friend,’ she whispered.
He swallowed, and she thought he swayed slightly, still clutching at the desk that was his livelihood and support. He repeated her words soundlessly to himself and then said, ‘And you come to me when the worst kind of chance has put him in my cells, under my roof, and you ask that I defy the Denlanders and set the man free?’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘And this Scavian, he is so much more than a friend that my hopes for you are dashed, Emily? So much more that, even before I asked, I had no hope or chance of you? I must know.’ Quite matter-of-fact, his voice now, but she could see him holding shut a great floodgate of emotion with all the strength he possessed.
‘Cristan, I don’t know. I can’t see my way to the end of it. I need more time. Please.’
‘You offer me that bait, at least, as an incentive to free him?’
‘Cristan!’ she snapped, catching his attention. ‘I will not lie to you, nor have I.’
He nodded wearily. ‘I cannot release him.’
‘Cristan!’
‘Emily, I can’t. He’s not mine to release. The Denlanders have him, and I’ve no authority over them. They have three soldiers down there in the cells with him, night and day, guns trained on his every move. The first flash of fire from him and he’s a dead man. They’re terrified of him. You already know what they do to things they’re scared of. They’re hunting down every surviving wizard. While the King’s at large, they’re too much of a risk, too dangerous, too much of a flag to rally to. I cannot order him released. I do not even have the keys to his cell under my control.’
‘What will they do to him?’
‘Why, they will kill him, of course,’ said Northway simply. ‘What did you think?’
‘You know that for certain?’
He made an airy gesture. ‘They don’t know it themselves yet but, when they’ve held their Parliament and their councils, they’ll come to that decision. You cannot take a wizard prisoner – not for long. It has always been so. With wizards, you must kill them or avoid them; there is no middle ground.’
‘Cristan, you’re talking about my friend!’ she yelled at him. ‘I can’t let them kill him! I won’t! I’ll damn well shoot my way in and rescue him myself – and let them kill me if they dare!’
‘Which they would, without a thought,’ he confirmed. ‘Shall I say I’m sorry? I’m sorry. It would have been a fine wooing gift to free your lover for you, but I cannot make it happen.’
‘Will you do what you can? You have influence. I know you, Cristan. You always have ways of getting what you want.’
His lips twitched. ‘We have learned to compromise, have we not, you and I?’
‘For God’s sake!’ she exploded. ‘What do you want from me? What must I say to make you do this for me?’
He stared at her, and there was a lean hunger in his eyes that brought her up short.
‘Is that it?’ she said. ‘Are you holding him to ransom now. Is that what you want, for me to pledge myself to you in return for his safety?’
He made as if to speak, and she knew that he wanted that very much, more than anything. He wanted to have the coin to buy her, to make her his own. He bared his teeth like an animal at the thought, feeling the desire rise inside him. In the end,