never been there at all.
After the massacre, Van had cut his hair and changed his style of clothing to become white. It was here that the memories of his past converged with potent intensity.
It was here, too, that Natalie could have died.
The thought struck like an arrow to the heart. The loss of his family and friends had devastated him, filled him with bitterness and resentment. If that vibrant, obsidian-eyed firebrand had died today Van wasn’t sure he could have dealt with the tormenting loss.
Funny, he mused as he crawled from the tunnel. He had aptly nicknamed her. She had come to be the very sunshine in his world. If she weren’t out there somewhere, he’d be stumbling around in the dark.
“Crow? Are you coming down?” Bristow called out.
Van scooped up the recovered money and walked onto the ledge. The Rangers had tied the Harper brothers to their bareback horses—backward—and secured their feet beneath the horses’ bellies. Van smiled when the Rangers tipped their hats respectfully to him.
Rangers or not, he was beginning to like Montgomery, Bristow and Phelps, in spite of his earlier vow to hold the ragtag group of frontier officers in contempt for the sins of their predecessors.
Van tossed the moneybags over the ledge so each Ranger could catch a pouch in midair. “The reward for the Harpers’ capture and the return of the money is yours. I have my wife back and that is payment aplenty. Oh, and don’t forget to credit the Harpers for the stagecoach robbery and horse thefts. Wouldn’t want to shortchange them.”
Monty tipped his head back to peer up at him. “You coming with us, chief?”
“I’ll be along later.”
Van stared over the spectacular canyon that was once a Comanche and Kiowa stomping ground. It was time to make peace with the demons that haunted him, he mused as he watched the Rangers lead the bandits away. Van would always be Kiowa at heart, but the old days and the old ways were forever beyond his grasp. He recalled what Natalie had said about being alone in the world and leaving her past behind to chase her dreams of adventures.
He sank down cross-legged on the cliff and inhaled a restorative breath. From his bird’s-eye view, he stared over the chasm, as if looking through the window of time. He could visualize the peaceful village of teepees, grazing cattle and herd of horses that he and his friends took pride in training.
He realized he had never really come to terms with his grief, just stowed it away and carried it with him for more than a decade. He had joined the white’s world and had taken from it to compensate for the loss of tribal lands and sacred ground. The money from his assignments didn’t lessen the blow to Kiowa pride or self-respect, but he had symbolically regained what his clan had lost—one assignment at a time.
Van said goodbye to his tormented past and tucked away the good memories in his heart. He mourned the clan he had loved. It struck him suddenly that all the bandits he had brought to justice weren’t the only ones locked away. He had been a prisoner of his past and he had built confining walls around himself because of his anger and resentment.
He smiled faintly, knowing that he had learned much about himself through Natalie. The mentor had become the student. The time had come for him to look forward, not backward.
It had required great courage for Natalie to strike off into the unknown and the unfamiliar to create a life that made her happy.
“And I hope you do find happiness, sunshine,” he murmured as he lifted up his face and arms to the Great Spirit that watched over the Earth, the seas and the endless blue sky. “I will remember you always….”
Chapter Seventeen
Natalie tossed aside her yellow gown, which had suffered irreparable damage during her abduction and escape. When she sank into the bathtub in Crow’s suite, she expelled a weary sigh. She was more than ready to wash away the unpleasant ordeal with the Harpers and put the experience behind her.
An hour passed and Crow never appeared. She wondered if that was significant. Then another hour passed and she took it as a sign. Crow had concluded his assignment. He was ready to move on to the next job that awaited him. Natalie knew it was best to part company without awkward farewells. Besides, she was in no mood for another dressing-down because she had