about seven feet an three or four hundrit pounds apiece! One feller, dressed kind of official, comes up an says to me, "You lookin for somebody here, old-timer?"
"Yeah," I says. "Snake."
"Well, he ain't here today. Coach made him go to the doctor on account of he sprained his hand hittin some idiot on the head in a bar."
"I know," I says.
"Well, anything else I can do for you?"
"I dunno," I tole him. "Snake says for me to come by here an see if y'all want me to play ball for you."
"Play ball? For us?" He got kind of a funny little squint in his eye.
"Uh huh. See Snake an I was on the same team back at Alabama. He tole me last night to..."
"Wait a minute," the feller says. "Your name ain't Forrest Gump, by any chance, is it?"
"Yup, sure is."
"Yeah, yeah," he says. "I heard about you, Gump. Snake says you run like a bat out of hell."
"Dunno about that anymore. I ain't run in a while."
"Well, I tell you what, Gump, Snake asked me to give you a tryout. Why don't you come in here and let's get you suited up - By the way, my name's Coach Hurley. I coach wide receivers."
He took me back to the uniform room, an they found some clothes an shit for me. Lord it was different from back at the University. All them clothes have changed now. They got twice as many pads an pieces of rubber an stuff, so's when you get all suited up, you look like a Mars-man or somethin, an when you stand up, you feel like you gonna tump over. When I finally get dressed, everbody else is already out on the field doin they exercises an shit. Coach Hurley motion me over to his group, which is runnin pass patterns, an say for me to get in line. I remembered this part from my playin days - just run out about ten yards an turn around an they thow you the ball. When my turn comes, I run out an turn around an the ball hits me square in the face, an it surprised me so much I tripped an fell on the ground. Coach Hurley shake his head, an I ran on back to the end of the line. Four or five times later, I ain't caught a ball yet an all the other guys be kind of avoidin me. Like I needed a bath or somethin.
After a while, Coach begun hollerin an shoutin, an everbody gone on into the scrimmage. They was divided up into two teams an after a few plays, Coach Hurley motion me over to him.
"All right, Gump," he says. "I don't know why I am doin this, but you go on in there at wide receiver and see if you can catch a ball, so Snake, whenever he gets here, is not going to be a laughingstock - or, for that matter, me either."
I run into the huddle an tell them I am there. The quarterback looks at me like I'm nuts, but says "Okay, eight-oh-three corner post - on two - Gump, you hit it straight for about twenty yards, look out once then look back in." An everbody breaks an gets into their position. I don't even know where my position is, so I go on out to where I think it is, an the quarterback, he sees me an motions me in closer. He counts an the ball is snapped, an I run out what I figger is twenty yards, do a little jig, an then look back, an sure enough the ball be headed right for me. Fore I know it, it is there, right in my hands, an I grapped it an begun to run hard as I could. Damn if I ain't gone twenty more yards when two big ole guys slam into me an knock me on the ground.
Then all hell broke loose.
"What in hell was that!" one of the guys shouts.
"Hey - that ain't right. What the hell's he doin!" another one says.
Two or three more come up an begun hollerin an cussin an wavin their arms at Coach Hurley. I got up an run on back to the huddle.
"What's wrong with them guys?" I ast the quarterback.
"Hell, Gump, them guys are so dumb they don't know what to do when they see somethin they ain't seen before. They were expectin you to do what I said - go out twenty,