dismayed. ‘I thought we were both still … hopeful. I guess you dealt with it better than I did.’
‘And then you started fucking her.’ Tears began, once again, pouring down Jessie’s face.
‘All we did was talk.’
‘Have you been using the apartment for lots of … Christ.’
‘I swear to you that all we did was talk.’
‘That’s the oldest line in the book. Oh, Johnny. I trusted you.’
The smell of urine, trolleys wedged tightly together and orderlies literally running from cubicle to cubicle.
Cara had been triaged within an hour of arriving but a steady stream of new arrivals suffering from knife wounds, heart attacks, burns and beatings had pushed her paltry little concussion way down the list.
Another gurney rushed past Cara and Ed, bearing a man with evident head injuries.
She took a breath. She felt faint.
‘Oh, yeah, that’s right,’ Ed said. ‘You were out for the count last time. You missed the show.’
His tone sounded strange.
‘Second time in three months we’re in an emergency department because of your hobby.’
‘But, Ed …’ Her earlier hair-trigger irritation had entirely vanished. All she was now was confused. ‘I’m ill. It’s an illness.’
‘Not so long ago you were telling me there was no such thing.’
Her thoughts were too muddled and slippery to hold on to.
‘Cara Casey?’ A man in scrubs called.
‘Here.’ She sat up.
‘It’s going to be a while.’ He looked at Ed. ‘You should go home.’
‘I’ll stay.’
After the orderly had moved off, Cara said, ‘Thanks, honey.’
She took his hand in hers. Deliberately, carefully, he disentangled it. ‘Ed? I don’t understand.’
‘Because you had a bang to your head.’
‘But you sound like you’ve had one.’
‘I told you I wouldn’t go through this again. I’m only here because concussion can be serious. Soon as you’re okay, you’re on your own.’
‘But, Ed, I didn’t do it. The eating and throwing up.’
‘You would have if Nell and Ferdia hadn’t been there.’
‘Yes, but …’ Then, ‘Nell and Ferdia. Can you believe it?’
Ed remained silent.
Nell’s haul of belongings was so small that it took only one trip to unload the taxi outside Garr’s house. ‘Wow.’ She actually had to laugh. ‘Back where I was living the night I met Liam. Life is gas.’ She stashed Molly Ringwald in Garr’s bedroom, which had been a sitting room in a previous, more prosperous, household. ‘None of the current crop of housemates are allergic, are they?’
‘If they are, they’ll soon let us know. Anyway, don’t worry about it tonight.’
‘So, any spare blankets? Maybe a pillow?’
‘Sleeping on the floor? Don’t be mad. It’s a double bed.’
It wouldn’t be the first time. A few years earlier, they’d made a tentative shift from friends to lovers. It lasted mere weeks before they admitted it had been a mistake. They’d been lucky to have successfully engineered a reversal.
She messaged Ferdia: Staying with my friend, Garr. I’m okay. Hope you’re okay. Talk tomorrow x
‘You texting Liam?’ Garr sounded concerned.
‘No, just …’
‘Oh, the young lad.’
‘It was nothing like you think,’ Johnny said urgently. ‘We sent each other the occasional message. Light, jokey stuff. Cat gifs.’
‘Cat gifs?’ Jessie said. ‘You hate cats!’
‘I do. But … Jessie, can you look at the messages? You’ll see there was nothing like that.’
‘Sure I’ll look at your light, jokey messages.’ Then, ‘Whoops, Jessie, looks like I accidentally deleted them.’
‘Why would I do that? I wasn’t doing anything wrong.’ He scrolled along his screen. His hands were shaking, she saw. Well, he’d been caught cheating: was it any surprise?
‘Just read them.’ He thrust his phone at her.
Izzy’s first message said: MAD bumping into you in Errislannan last weekend
It had been sent four months ago. Fear reverberated, like the clang of a giant bell. Izzy had been back in Johnny’s life for all this time and she hadn’t had one clue.
Johnny had replied, Gas alright
Jessie felt sick. ‘What does she look like now?’ This was an important question.
‘I dunno. The same.’
She glared at him and he said defensively, ‘The same. Lots of hair. Tall.’
In the next message, Izzy, in recognizably Izzy fashion, said, That’s some piece of shit you’re driving
Ha-ha, Johnny replied, least I don’t look like a drug dealer
‘What’s her car?’ Jessie asked.
‘Discovery.’
‘Ugh.’
Next was a cat gif from Izzy. Then Johnny sent Izzy an attachment about an armed robbery in Kildare, captioned, You up to your old tricks again lol
‘Lol?’ Jessie furrowed her brow. ‘You’re a “lol” person now?’
Another cat gif from Izzy. Jessie would never have seen her as a cat person. Life really took people in some strange directions … She spotted her own name