I dash to the washroom, and close the door gently behind me, hoping the girls do not notice that I am gone. I turn on the fan and I squat to the floor and cry. I cry until I am completely drained.
“What kind of food do they like on Pelo Island?” Chloe asks, her hand in a bag of chips.
“Pelee Island,” I clarify. I look back at her, glad to see her seat belt is on. I always have these sudden moments of temporary panic when I think I’ve forgotten to fasten the girls’ seatbelts. “I’m not sure what kind of food they like,” I tell her. “Probably the same stuff we eat. But they’re Canadian, so probably bacon too.”
“I want to try lobster,” Claire pipes in. “Can we have lobster?”
I smile at her. “I’m not sure. Someone’s got expensive taste. I’m not sure they have lobster on Pelee Island.”
“Why not? There’s a big great beach there, isn’t there? I bet they have lobsters.”
“Um…I’m not sure they have lobsters in fresh water lakes. I think that’s more of an ocean thing.”
Gabe shoots me a smile. “Yeah, sweetie, we’ll see about the lobster.”
An hour or two more in the car to Sandusky, a two hour ferry ride, and we’ll be in heaven.
This moment could almost be perfect; the sun is shining, the music on the radio is great and we’re all together.
If only…
I look out at the road ahead of us. I don’t really see it because there’s so much going on inside me. I rest my hand on my stomach, and I think about Weston. I wonder what he’s doing.
I’m suddenly brought back to the last time we saw each other — those last few precious minutes…
My back was still pressed against the back door of the café, the bottoms of my ballet flats resting on the old oak floor. My arms had reluctantly let go of him.
“You seem quite fond of quirky little coffee shops,” he teased.
I smiled up at him. “And you seem to have a thing for posh restaurants up high in the sky.”
Weston toyed with the pendant of my necklace absent mindedly — a diamond studded cross — a gift from Gabe. How ironic, I realized, the cheater wears a cross over her heart. I’ve turned my back on all the teachings of the Church I’ve learned growing up. If only the God I prayed to as a little girl could see me now. My younger self could have never imagined doing something like this. I’d always thought Gabe would be the only man I would ever be with. I couldn’t have even imagined ever wanting to be with someone else.
He stroked a strand of my hair, his gentle eyes fixing me. “Well, as they say, opposites attract.”
“Please don’t call me,” I blurted out, just like that. “This…what just happened… it doesn’t change anything.”
I spotted the color drain from his face, the happiness stripped away in one fell swoop. I had achieved that with just a few words. “I’m sorry,” I added, rubbing salt into the wound. “I’m still not interested in resuming our arrangement. And I don’t want to discuss it any further. You need to leave, immediately.”
He just stared at me, confusion written all over his face. For him, this had not just been about sex. For me either, but I certainly did not want him to know that.
I pushed him off me and smoothed down the creases of my skirt. “This was just me getting off. Plain and simple,” I added, throwing his own words back at him. “And you know what else it was?”
His eyes were full of sorrow when he looked at me and asked, “What else was it, Mirella?”
“Adultery.”
I knew I was being a complete bitch. And I didn’t want to be. But he was talking nonsense, and I couldn’t let him do this. I couldn’t let him leave his wife and family for me. I needed him to hate me.
He took me by surprise when he turned his back to me. I knew he didn’t want to hear the truth. He stared at his shoes, and kicked a box full of books across the floor as he walked away.
He didn’t say another word as he left the shop. He slammed the front door behind him, the clang of the bell loud and seething.
We’re staying at the same B&B we’ve stayed at the last time we were here, two