Gravity (Greenford #2) - Romeo Alexander Page 0,55

hard to love me, to be with me, to treat me right and have us be a couple, a real set of true partners. And there’s me, yanking back every time it threatens to get good. If I saw someone else doing this, I’d accuse them of playing games.”

“It’s felt like it before,” Caleb admitted.

Sam nodded. “And I don’t blame you for that. How could I? And I know what it looks like, what it feels like. But I keep doing it.”

Caleb honestly didn’t know what to say anymore. He had always wanted Sam to open up, and now that he had, Caleb didn’t know what to do with the information he was receiving. How could either of them work to fix the problem if they barely understood the problem in the first place? How could anything work between them when they didn’t know the pieces or what instructions to follow?

Sam heaved a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry. But the way things are, we can’t continue like this. It isn’t fair. Not to you, not to me.”

“No,” Caleb agreed, feeling his chest tighten. He knew where this was heading, but he had to ask the question anyway. “Where does this leave us?”

Sam looked up, and for the first time, Caleb understood just how much these problems weighed on the other man. The exhaustion on the man’s face wasn’t just from lack of sleep but from the thoughts and the sheer guilt running through his thoughts.

“I need to figure things out without dragging you along for the ride,” Samuel said, sad eyes dropping to the floor once more. “I have to get myself sorted, somehow. Figure out if I can finally walk away or finally let you in. But I can’t...no, I won’t do it while making you wait around for me, that isn’t fair.”

Caleb bit back his response, knowing that while he was more than willing to work with the other man, he understood. This wasn’t just his decision to make and if Samuel was not only being honest about why he was stepping away but that he needed to step away then Caleb had to respect that. It left them in a kind of limbo still, but it was far better than anything they’d ever had before.

Maybe.

Sam looked up again, smiling sadly. “I hate to do this to you, especially after everything you’ve been through and everything we talked about. But I think it would be best if I stepped away, backed up, and tried to figure things out. I’m not sure how I’ll do it or if I’ll manage it, but I won’t be able to do it if…”

“If you’re constantly worried about hurting me,” Caleb finished for him.

“Yeah.”

That was all there was to it, wasn’t there? Caleb had to resign himself to letting Samuel go, once again. There had been that brief, shining moment of hope, but it was dimming rapidly.

“Okay,” Caleb said. “If that’s what you need.”

Silence stretched between them then, thick and heavy. There was nothing left to be said, and it wasn’t as if they could talk about the weather. In one conversation, they had gone from maybe trying one final time to retreating to their respective corners and possibly, staying there forever.

Sam cleared his throat, and when he looked up, Caleb could see his expression had cleared of all exhaustion and sadness. The mask had slipped back into place, and Sam was back in control of himself.

“Which, on that note,” Samuel said, standing up. “I should probably head out. Won’t hurt to get to my office early, maybe get a jumpstart on all the stuff waiting for me.”

“Sure,” Caleb said, not quite ready to let go of his misery. “I’ll see you...later.”

“Yeah, uh,” Samuel began, and then as if realizing he didn’t have something to add, winced and walked to the door. “Take care of yourself, Caleb.”

“You too.”

And then he was gone, and Caleb wondered if the empty feeling in his chest was what happened when gravity released its hold.

Samuel

He was honestly going to stop having these lunches with Lucas.

“Why are you like this?” Samuel demanded, knowing it was in a whining voice and not caring.

Honestly, all he wanted was to have a nice, relaxing lunch with his best friend.

Lucas looked unimpressed by his stellar repartee. “I think the better question is why you are the way you are?”

“I was dropped on my head as a child,” Samuel grumbled. “That has to be the only reason I’ve chosen you as my best friend. I