a search party.”
“It would have been helpful,” I say around a sip of magical bean life blood. “And why don’t you try putting on leather pants with no undies and a wet pussy. See how quick that works out for you,” I retort, taking a bite of my bagel and watching with glee as Jerif chokes on the coffee he just tried to swallow.
Wracking coughs overtake the lava demon as he tries to clear his airway of java, and Crux snickers and raises his hand for a high five. Jerif shoots me an unamused look as soon as he starts breathing again, but I just smile and stuff my face with more bagel. Before, I would’ve gotten pissed at his asshole-ness, but right now, when I know that he wants me, I find that I just like fucking with him. I’m looking forward to that hate sex he talked about.
Looking around, I notice that all of the guys are dressed very casually. Even Iceman, which surprises me. He’s in jeans and a Henley, which is a little more preppy looking than the sweats and tee that Crux is wearing or the faded black shirt with matching faded black jeans Echo is sporting. Jerif is in some military black cargo pants and tight black shirt getup, but you won’t see my vagina complaining about that.
“No ceremonial robes, incense, or sin-laced oil needed for the induction?” I joke as I finish up my breakfast.
Iceman snorts. “No. Demons hate incense.”
I smile, but then an unexpected wave of worry suddenly rises up in me as I think about the induction and what it entails. I’m trying not to be a baby about going back into Hell for this whole ceremony, but I’m not going to lie, I’m nervous. I try a solid pep talk of you’re a demon, Delta. You can’t be afraid of Hell. What would the other demons think? But my chastising words aren’t doing the trick like I was hoping they would.
Iceman’s eyes search my face, and I can tell he’s picking up on the surge of unease that just went barreling through me and apparently swept over the whole kitchen, judging by the way everyone is looking at me now.
Fuck, is it hot in here?
I look down, taking in my leather pants, and question why I’m always wearing these fuckers when a panic attack could be coming on at any moment. Damn you, pants. I blame all of this on you. I was completely cool not even five minutes ago, and I mean that figuratively and literally. I was ready. I was eager, even, to take my place as a Guardian. But now all of a sudden, reality caught up, and I’m getting that itch to pause myself again.
“What just happened?” Iceman asks as he reaches for me and starts gently rubbing my arms, up and down in an incredibly soothing way.
I stare up at him with panic in my eyes and try to breathe. “I’ll tell you, but if you make fun of me, I’m going to be pissed for an entire week, or until I reach a hundred orgasms,” I tell him between labored breaths.
He smiles, and a chuckle slips out of his gorgeous mouth. “Tell us what’s on your mind.”
“I’m afraid of Hell,” I admit. Shame and worry tinges my cheeks red, like it’s not enough to wear them on the inside, but the whole world needs to see the visible scarlet mark of my cowardice too.
Iceman just nods, like he totally understands. “You seemed to be okay in Nihil. Did something happen?” he asks, trying to suss out the root of my alarm.
“Nihil was fine. A little orgy happy, but I get it,” I confess, looking quickly at the others before settling my gaze back on Iceman’s blue stare. “It’s not the Rings themselves so much as the Gate and stairs and the Vestibule. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to go back down there.”
Understanding dawns in Iceman’s eyes, and he pulls me in for a hug, careful to not crush my wings. “We don’t have to go down into Hell for the induction, Maverick. We do it at the portal in the mausoleum. That will tie you to the portal we guard, along with the Gate itself.”
“Really?” I squeak, relief suddenly crashing through me in massive waves.
“Yes, and it’s okay to not be ready to go back to the Vestibule. We all experienced something very traumatic there, and it will take time.