and I do, I had to accept that I'll never be his mother. Brad loves him, and despite his feelings for me or for that matter Janice, his son had to come first. I could only love and admire him more for the strength of his devotion to Cody.
When Brad divulged that he was talking to Janice, I was too hurt and angry to appreciate his sacrifice. But I came to realize that this wasn't about Brad and his ex-wife, it was about Cody. It'd always been about Cody. Brad loves me, yet he was willing to let me go in order to give Cody back his mother.
Strangely, Brad's efforts to reconcile with Janice helped me grasp the depth of my own father's love for me. Dad made sacrifices daily; sacrifices I came to expect because I was so sick and so needy. Not until he died did I appreciate everything my father had been to me.
I would've loved to discuss Brad and Cody with my dad. He was always so wise and loving; he would've known just the right thing to say. Even now, I'd give anything to hear his voice again, to feel the comfort of his presence.
"Looks like we need to order more sock yarn," Margaret said, breaking into my thoughts.
"Already?" The self-patterning yarn seemed to go out of the shop almost as fast as it came in.
My class was going well. I'd wondered if holding it on a Tuesday afternoon was a mistake. It's the first day of my work week and there always seemed to be a hundred things that required my attention. But I decided it was actually an advantage; the small class size meant I could develop real relationships with all three women, just as I had in my original class.
During one class, Elise described the awkward situation with her ex-husband. Frankly, I was surprised she'd told us that much. She'd always been so restrained. I can't tell you how shocked we all were when she revealed that Maverick was a professional gambler. The minute that was out, the conversation became lively indeed. What an interesting combination! A librarian and a gambler. This was the stuff of romance novels - but unfortunately there hadn't been a happy ending for Elise.
Bethanne Hamlin had ex-husband problems, too. But she was growing more self-confident every week. We could all see it; I'd say it even showed in her knitting. She was experiencing some difficulties with her teenage daughter, but she'd only touched on that subject briefly. I thought she might be afraid of saying too much because of Courtney, who'd become friends with Annie.
Speaking of Courtney - we all loved her. What a charming girl and such a typical teenager. She talked about her father a great deal and was as excited to get an e-mail or a letter from him as she would an invitation to the senior prom. I was grateful she seemed to be making friends. Although she didn't say anything about it, I had the feeling she liked Andrew Hamlin, Bethanne's son. Andrew was the school's football star, the quarterback, and I was sure he could date just about any girl at Washington High. I also figured Courtney probably didn't stand much of a chance with him. He'd want slim, trim and stylish - the cheerleader type. Courtney was losing weight, but she still had a few pounds to go.
On Tuesday, just before one, I heard the bell over the door and immediately glanced up to see Bethanne walk in. She hadn't even reached her seat before she pulled out her half-knitted sock and held it up for inspection.
"Notice, I successfully turned the heel," she announced. "I feel like I should get a gold star for this. It took hours."
"Then you did it wrong," Margaret offered from the other side of the shop.
I was irritated by her comment, but smiled encouragingly at Bethanne. "It gets easier the more often you do it, so don't worry."
"I'm not worried. Well, I was at first because it just didn't look right, but I followed the instructions and everything came out looking exactly the way it should. I knew one thing - I wasn't giving up until I got it right."
"Good for you!" I said, resisting the urge to hug her. I really was very proud of Bethanne. She'd come a long way in this class and I wasn't just talking about knitting.
"I wish I could do as well in my job search," she murmured dejectedly.
Elise