me just wants to shake her and make her realize that she simply needs to leave the bastard to get some sort of life back, but I get why she’s so upset with me. It was shitty victim blaming, and now I feel crappy.
“I have no friends left. None. I have no money of my own and nowhere to go.” She pulls at a thread repeatedly on the light cotton sweater she wears. “My mother relies on him to keep her clothed and fed, and he’s also rather expertly turned her against me too. He didn’t start treating me like this, Bohdan. Abusers rarely do. He did it slowly. Slowly but surely. He undermined my confidence. He made me believe no one would think anything of me and the only thing going for me was my skill as a dancer. I was ugly, stupid, clumsy, childish. You name the insult, that was me. But it started so slowly, so insidiously. A constant drip, drip, drip of small cuts that became larger cuts until by the time I realized I was bleeding out it was too late.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I get it, I do, but you can’t stay, Dasha. Please, get the fuck out.”
“Oh, and do what? Run away with you? My knight in shining armor?” she sneers as she stares out of the windscreen at the traffic-heavy road stretching out ahead.
“It’s one option,” I say, only half joking.
“No, it isn’t.” She shakes her head. “I can’t jump straight into a relationship with you when things have gone so wrong for me in my other relationship. That would be disastrous. Utterly disastrous. If I leave, I will go and be alone somewhere. Take the time to find myself and sort my head out, so you might as well stop pushing for it because it won’t benefit you, okay?”
This time I’m the one wanting to stop the car so I can fucking throttle her. Does she think I only want her to leave Jasper so I can make her mine? I want her. I want to try to make something with her, but I want her to leave him because he is insane, and he’s going to kill her one of these days.
“You know, I have friends who own this amazing property on Corfu. I have a share in it,” I say. “You could go there. Stay in one of the houses, with your mother, for as long as you want. No strings. You’d be safe. You could spend time every day in the sun, get your strength back, and figure out what you want.”
“Oh, and how do I live?”
“I can help,” I say.
“No, Bohdan. You’re not listening to a word I say. I can’t leave Jasper only to become reliant on another man. I daren’t; don’t you understand that? It terrifies me the very idea that I could be going from the frying pan into the fire.” My jaw tenses as the meaning of her words sinks in. “I’m not saying you’re anything like Jasper, but what I am saying is that I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.”
We spend the rest of the journey in silence, and I want to kick myself for ruining what could have been a magical day.
Chapter Nineteen
Dasha
Bohdan doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get me. I’ve been broken down slowly and surely over time by a master manipulator, and the idea that I might leave him to simply find myself relying yet again on another man is terrifying to me. I need to leave knowing I can support myself. For that, I need a lawyer, but every single one I approach says no. Jasper’s lawyer is one of the most feared and respected in all of Paris.
We’re walking along the embankment, and things are frosty between us still. The kernel of an idea is taking root in my brain, though. I turn to Bohdan. “Do you really want to help me get away?”
“Jesus, yes.”
“Even if I don’t end up with you?”
“Yes,” he says without hesitation. “I want us to have a chance at something, Dasha, I can’t lie about that, but I want you safe. More than anything.”
“There is a way you could help me. Do you know any influential people? Maybe not even good people, Bohdan. Jasper has a lawyer. He’s brilliant, but he’s also feared because some rumors say he’s a mob lawyer, so I can’t find a lawyer willing to take on Jasper and his man. I’ve tried. If you could help