for a year.”
“Well, it’s only for a year if I don’t stay up there to work.”
“Ugh.”
“I know. Do you want to talk about it now, or should we see how it plays out?”
“Let’s just get through the fellowship,” she said. “I’m just thrilled for you. Truly. I’ll come up there every chance I get. I guess this means you need to find a place.”
“I have an apartment locator looking for a studio. I don’t need more than that. The rent sucks, too.”
“It can’t be much worse than this,” she said.
“No, but it’s close.”
“I just thought about Mike,” Alison said, watching him. “It’s going to be hard on Mike.”
“I’ll see him every weekend. And if you want to bring him when you come up, you can do that.”
“Okay, well, I guess that’s our plan. Did you tell Kathy yet?”
“No, I wanted to wait and see if you were okay with it.”
“Rich, get real. I’m not standing in the way of you doing a fellowship. I’m just glad it’s in LA and not New York.”
She went to the window and looked out. The moon shone on the water, a bright white stripe of light that cut the ocean in two. Like a lightning strike, she thought of something. When had all of this happened? The rejection, the new application. Why hadn’t he shared what he was doing with her?
Abruptly, his secretiveness frightened her. Was he afraid that her response would influence his decision? She turned, and he was sitting on the edge of the couch with his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together, waiting.
“Why did you wait to tell me about the rejection and the offer they made?”
She could see him thinking, weighing his words.
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Rich, that’s the kind of information you share with your fiancée. We’re getting married in two weeks. If I’d known about this…”
“You would have postponed the wedding.”
The words bounced off the walls around the room.
“I don’t know what to do now,” she said. “I’m trying not to make a big deal out of it, but suddenly, you not telling me is a really big deal.”
“I’m sorry if you feel like I tricked you.”
“Did you trick me? I don’t feel that way at all. Do you feel like you tricked me?”
“Maybe a little bit. I wanted my way. I wanted you to be my wife. I wanted you on my side.”
“Rich, I’m on your side, for God’s sake. You’re not serious about that, are you?”
“No, I know you have my back. But I wasn’t sure you’d go through with the wedding.”
She turned back to the window. “I can still back out,” she said. “Canceling the firehouse won’t break the bank.”
He stood up and went to her, taking her in his arms. “I’m so sorry. I know I can’t say it’s not a big deal. I know it’s a big deal. If I say I promise to never do anything like this again, will you believe me?”
She looked up at him and held his face in her hands and looked him right in the eyes. “I believe you, but I think it’s a symptom of a serious problem in our relationship. You shouldn’t avoid telling me something because you’re afraid you won’t get your way. That’s not healthy.”
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her nose until she let go of his face. “What do we do now?”
“Good question. I guess we get married and hope that this isn’t the tip of some iceberg that I failed to see.”
“I love you, Alison. More than anything in the world. I’m sorry I messed up.”
“I love you, too. And you did sort of mess up. We’re back to one-day-at-a-time mode,” she said, discouraged. “This wedding has the potential to make me a little nutty.”
“Let’s run away,” he said. “We can drive to Las Vegas. Then we’ll go through the ceremony and the reception for the family, but we’ll already be married.”
“You have Mike next weekend,” she said, laughing. “We can’t go to Las Vegas.”
Extricating herself from his grasp, she thought of other pressing matters. “When does the fellowship begin? July 1, correct?”
“No, they changed that a while back. Not till August 1. So I’ll have a month to get settled up there.”
“Well, that’s at least one good thing,” she said. “Not having to rush around.”
She had one more question, though, and was trying so hard not to care how long ago he’d done the deed. How long had he been deceiving her? The applications