with your sweetheart. #CafeBae #CuteCafeGirl #nofiltersrequired #theLordismyfilter. A photo of him, again shirtless, holding his mom’s dog: Sandy’s kisses can’t compare to hers. #CafeBae #CuteCafeGirl #PuppyLove #CantWaitToSeeHer #weddingbells.
Barf.
None of that had compared to the video, though. She’d watched it with Jas next to her, but even his presence hadn’t prevented the cold ball forming in the pit of her stomach.
Over the course of twenty minutes, Ross fielded questions from people about his new nutrition company, his past as an athlete, and his exercise regimen. Then the questions about her had started. Where was she, why wasn’t she coming forward, were they really seeing each other, what was her real name?
Ross had spouted some cutesy non-answers, but for the last one, the bastard had looked straight into her camera and winked. I’m sure one of you super-sleuths can find out who CuteCafeGirl is. No one’s truly impossible to find.
A shiver ran down Katrina’s back. The man had practically invited the internet to dox her.
Unacceptable. It was time to do what she’d decided on yesterday with such passionate fervor. Take up space. Use her resources, damn it.
She’d called her lawyer, who had been aghast and sympathetic. There were some legal options, but they’d have to be approached in a way that didn’t end up calling more attention to the story and her. Her lawyer wanted to consult with some of her colleagues who had experience with cases like Katrina’s. In the meantime, they would compose takedown notices, though Katrina was aware that was kind of like trying to stuff a hundred thousand cats back into a sack.
After that conversation, she’d called this meeting of their brain trust.
Lakshmi rubbed her hands together. Rhiannon’s assistant was stylish as usual, in a black-and-gold front-slit kurta, her hair slicked back, her blood-red lips a slash of crimson suited to her dramatic personality. “By the time I’m done with these people, they won’t think it’s so great to go viral.”
That sounded vaguely ominous to Katrina. “You’re not putting out a hit on them or anything, are you?”
“Of course not. I’m going to make them see the error of their ways.”
That sounded even more like Lakshmi was going to put a hit on them. Katrina shifted. “Rhiannon.”
Rhiannon placed her hand on Lakshmi’s shoulder. “No one is going to hurt anyone. This will be a purely online information campaign.”
“Purely online.” Lakshmi’s voice dropped. “Until it’s not.”
Katrina’s eyes widened. “Rhiannon.”
Jia looked up from her nails. The blue of her fingernails matched her hijab and the flowers on her embroidered shirt. “Guys. Wait.” They all hushed.
Jia took a deep breath. “Do you like my eyebrows? I got them threaded at this new place.”
Lakshmi turned to Rhiannon. “Is it necessary for her to be on the call?”
“Yes, Lakshmi, it is, and I can hear you.” Jia’s nostrils flared. They’d only met a few months prior, but there wasn’t much love lost between uber-efficient Lakshmi and dreamy Jia. “I was asking because I want to make sure my eyebrows are camera-ready when I go live shortly. BeccaTheNose wishes she had my following.” Jia straightened, and her voice went up an octave. “You all can’t for serious think this is an okay way to behave. Clearly CuteCafeGirl doesn’t want to be found. Imagine if this was you, if you were, like, a busy professional and someone plastered your face all over the internet without your permission. This is a privacy issue, and it’s also a feminist issue, a humanity issue.” Jia subsided and gave the thumbs-up. “And so on for five minutes. I’ll get my biggest influencer buds on board to spread that message.”
Lakshmi sniffed, mollified. “It’s not bad. I can help with the script, if you like.”
“You’ll make me sound old.”
Lakshmi no longer looked mollified. “I am five years older than you, you little—”
“Jia, thanks,” Katrina interrupted, eager to head off this fight.
“No thanks necessary. I mean every word I’ll say. I’m terrified of going viral for all the wrong reasons.”
“Are there right reasons to go viral?” Katrina murmured. If she could, she’d continue to avoid social media for the rest of her life on the off chance that this was ever repeated.
“Oh, you know, going viral for showing people how to eat a pineapple is a way different situation.” Jia thought for a second. “Though I went viral for, like, an eyeliner hack once, and got death threats within two hours. So I guess, no. There’s no right way to go viral on ye olde internet anymore. Not for some of us,