I can’t think about that.” X sounded like he’d been punched in the gut.
“Take the chance, no matter what you think about me and Lane.”
“I told you not to touch him.”
“I hadn’t planned to, but…” I stopped myself from telling him we’d already met. That wouldn’t make this any better. “I didn’t go after him because it was convenient to hook up with him when we were at the cabin. He’s way more special to me than that.”
“I can’t talk about this now. I’m too angry.”
I ended the call without saying anything else. Since then, I hadn’t slept, I hadn’t eaten, I hadn’t done anything except think about what the hell I was going to do. My job had meant everything to me from the moment I’d been selected for special forces.
Even when I was with Thomas, we’d both put the job first. I didn’t know what to do. X wouldn’t allow me to remain part of Vigilance if I pursued his son. I’d spent so many years cut off from everyone but the men in the organization. Even with them, I didn’t open up often.
Now that I’d let myself feel, I’d remembered that sometimes a person had to follow their heart.
My phone rang. I hoped it was Lane. I hadn’t heard anything from him. When I looked at the screen, my heart sank. It was Niall.
I answered immediately. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Our cover is holding solidly, and we’ve gained enough intel to bring down several of Alan’s associates?”
“What about the congressman?”
“The asshole has covered his tracks damn well, but we will get him.”
“If everything is going smoothly, then why—”
“Go see Lane.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“The fact that you love him, and he loves you, and you’re brooding instead of letting yourself have what you want.”
“Did you see how angry X was?”
“I know how much you respect him because I do too. I trust him, and that’s rare for me.”
I snorted. “Yeah. Same.”
“But he’s wrong about this.”
“You don’t know all of it.”
“I know Lane is X’s son.”
That shocked me. “He told you?”
“Yes. After you left to meet with the Marchesis, X went a little crazy. Things weren’t moving fast enough to suit him, and Leo and I needed to calm him down. We asked him what was going on because we’d never seen him lose his cool like that. He told us then and said you were the only other one who knew.”
“I wish he’d tell Lane.”
“Yeah, that would probably be good, but whatever he chooses to do about that, you need to do what’s right for you.”
“He’s going to fire me if I see Lane again. Or maybe just fucking kill me.”
“He won’t. He’ll come around eventually.”
Could I possibly believe that? “You really think he’s going to accept us together?”
“I don’t think he’s going to have a choice because Lane’s not going to let it be any other way unless he thinks you don’t care. I heard what you said to him before he passed out.”
I sighed. “He was drugged and pretty out of it. He may think he dreamed it.”
“Then he needs you to tell him he didn’t.”
He was right. Abso-fucking-lutely right.
“Get the fuck off the phone so I can go.”
“Go where?”
“To get my man.”
I heard Niall laugh before he ended the call.
I didn’t let myself analyze what I was doing; I just left the house. I was going to show up at Lane’s apartment and tell him exactly how I felt. I was going to choose him.
My heart was pounding when I knocked on his door. What if he’d changed his mind?
He hadn’t responded when I’d told him I loved him. I knew he’d been drugged, and he’d passed out soon afterwards, but it still made me worry. I heard footsteps approaching, heavier ones than I expected. I tensed and reached for my gun.
The lock turned, and X opened the door. I expected him to tell me to leave. Instead, he stood back and motioned for me to come inside.
“I’m not going to follow your orders this time,” I told him when he’d closed the door behind me. “I always have. You’re the best commander I’ve ever had. And Vigilance has been exactly what I’ve needed, but I’m in love with Lane, and if I have to choose between being with him and following you, I choose Lane.”
X studied me for a moment. “How are you going to keep him safe? You put yourself in danger all the time. It’s your job.”
“I will do everything I can to isolate